A Fire Emblem Halloween
by Link015
Summary: [FINISHED] The costume contest comes to a close as the day passes through the land of Elibe. Gifts are given, old enemies return, and people are sued. Oh yeah, nothing but an average day in Ostia. [Bonus quickie at the end]
1. The Party Starts

Chris: Yay, another story. Anyway, this is made especially for my readers just for this Halloween. I'm trying to get it to have a plot and stuff, and hopefully, I'll finish it before the end of Halloween. And don't worry, I'll try to update my other fics as well. Farina's Diary is first. But my main goal is finishing this one. Anyway, in this one, everyone has a costume! So, every FE character in your party and every major villain has a costume. Yay. Anyway, here we go!

Oh yeah, don't own Fire Emblem in any way, shape, or form. And just pretend that the characters know every single game/book/anime/manga character they're dressed as.

" " - dialogue

' ' -thoughts

_italics_ - spell words

* * *

"It's time to party!" With that shout, Hector barged into Castle Ostia, with the rest of his motley army behind him. "It's costume time!" Hector rushed into a changing room where he could wear what he thought was the ultimate costume. Unfortunately, everyone else had the same idea that their costumes were the best. Hector decided to have a little costume judging to show everyone that his costume would beat everyone else's. That same thought ran through Eliwood's mind as he got ready for his entrance. With his giant costume sword strapped to his back and his hair styled the way he wanted it, he was certain that he would be the life of the party.

Fifteen minutes later, everyone had finished changing into their respective costumes. The first person out was Hector, dressed as the Hulk. He had left his axe behind in his dressing room, and had dyed his hair green as well. He began practicing his lines and stunts that he was going to perform. "HECTOR SMASH!" Hector karate chopped a board into two and watched as the pieces flew into the air.

"Hector smashes what? His chances of winning the costume party?" Leaning on a wall was Matthew, dressed as Sly Cooper, a raccoon thief. He had even put two fake raccoon ears on his head and a fake tail. The moment he said that however, a group of screaming girls ran through the castle and glomped him.

"He's so cute!"

"And so fuzzy!"

"Gah! Get off! Get off!" Matthew pushed them all away as the Ostian guards escorted the indignant girls out of the castle. "Phew….I thought I was a goner." He noticed Hector chuckling at him. "S-Shut up! That just proves that my costume is cuter than yours."

"But it's not as cool as mine!" Eliwood stepped out of his dressing room. He held a giant sword in one hand and had dyed his hair blond and spiked it. Matthew and Hector burst out laughing as they saw him. "Hey! What's so funny?"

"W-W-Who the he-he-heck are you supposed to be?" Hector managed to squeak out a question before collapsing in laughter.

"I'm Cloud! From FFVII!"

Hector stopped laughing long enough to voice a question. "Umm…Isn't Cloud supposed to be moody and gloomy?" Hector turned to Matthew, who nodded.

"Don't worry. I've got an idea." He turned to Eliwood, who was looking over his costume. "Hey Eliwood! How's your father?!"

Immediately, Eliwood slumped to the ground, covered by a deep cloud of gloom. He began crying until Fiora came up, dressed in her costume.

"There, there, Eliwood. Don't let that meanie Matthew hurt you. I'm here for you." Fiora had dressed up as Sylph from Tales of Symphonia, and had made some fake wings to put on her back. Her hair had been lightened to a teal-green and she also carried a curved sword, which she pointed at Matthew. "Do that again, and I'll sic Serra on you. I'll just tell you that you love her and she'll hug you until you die from lack of air."

Matthew blanched and shuddered. "I'll never do that again. I promise."

"Good Matthew. That's a good boy. Now go search through the garbage or something. You're a raccoon, right?"

"Hmph." Matthew stalked off, his fake tail swishing indignantly.

'How does he do that?' Fiora wondered as he watched Matthew leave. However, her attention was diverted by another costumed party member entering the main hall. Well, two costumed people. She couldn't help chuckle at one of them, who shook a fist at her.

"Don't laugh at my costume!" Raven, who was dressed as Brother from FFX, had protested against going to the costume party. Then, when he found out what costume Priscilla had wanted him to wear, he protested even more. Priscilla just called him a big baby and dragged him to the dressing room, where people heard sounds of screaming and shouts of "NO!" Now, looking at Raven's costume, Fiora realized that his protesting was well based.

For one thing, Raven's hair was now a mohawk. Second of all, it was blond. And finally, he had tattoos around his whole body and was wearing some suspender type gear. However, he had given in to all of this just to please his sister, who was beaming happily as they entered the grand hall of Castle Ostia. Priscilla was dressed as Yuna from FFX, so she could go with the whole 'brother and sister' theme even in their costumes. She had dyed her hair brown, and worn a summoner's costume that she had made out of a kimono. She had even worn contacts to make one eye look blue and one eye look green.

Fiora could tell that Priscilla loved costume parties. "Nice costume, Priscilla."

"You really mean it?! Hearing it from you just makes it more enjoyable! I'm really glad you like it!" Priscilla twirled around in her costume, her eyes twinkling with joy. Raven couldn't help glancing at his sister with pride. Then he started glaring at Hector, who had started to snicker.

"Don't ever laugh at my costume or you'll regret it." Raven shook his fist at Hector, who gulped and hid a shield behind his back for protection. Luckily for him, Raven's attention was diverted to another group of costumed people. Erk and Florina, who were already dressed up, entered the grand hall. Erk burst out laughing at the sight of Raven's costume while Florina, being more courteous and nice, complimented Raven and Priscilla on their superb costumes.

Priscilla jumped happily and started chatting with Florina over their costumes while Raven shook a fist at Erk and glared at him. Erk gave a nervous cough and tugged at the collar of the cloak he was wearing. He adjusted his fake glasses so he could see better, since he was dressed as that renowned boy, Harry Potter. Erk cut his hair a little shorter and had drawn a small lightning shaped scar on his forehead. He also was wearing a black wizard's hat and a Hogwarts uniform that Florina had sewn for him. He was inordinately proud of his costume, and had thanked Florina numerous times. She just blushed and accepted the thanks.

As for Florina, she was dressed as Fairess, another one of the Sylph sisters from Tales of Symphonia. Like Fairess, Florina had dyed her hair orange and borrowed the Delphi Shield from Fiora. She also managed to pick up a pink beret and wore it over her hair. Erk couldn't help looking at her since he thought she was so pretty. Raven noticed this and grinned at Erk, whose face burned with embarrassment. Erk coughed nervously and smoothed his hair with his hands. He had borrowed a Flux book from Canas and decorated it with symbols to look like a simple spellbook.

Next to enter the grand hall was Marcus, who had donned a Starship captain's outfit. Eliwood glanced at him and walked up, shaking his hand.

"Ah, my faithful retainer! What might you be dressed as?"

"My Lord Eliwood, I am dressed in the attire of Captain Antilles."

"Wedge Antilles?"

"No, the other Captain Antilles."

"Oh…Wait, wasn't he killed in like the first 10 minutes of the movie or something?"

"…"

"Nevermind. You fit the role of Captain Antilles very well! I will always know I have someone I can trust at the helm, my old friend!" With that, Eliwood clapped Marcus on the back and walked back to Fiora, where they soon got immersed in a conversation about their characters. Priscilla and Florina were still gushing over their costumes and Raven had pulled Erk aside to teach him some lessons he needed to know about girls.

"Okay. Rule number one. Always let the girl win the argument. They always win anyway. I remember when Priscilla and I were children…She always got the toys before I could! Just because she was a girl!" Raven clenched his hand into a fist and Erk looked nervously at it.

"Ahem. Rule number two. They are almost always more interested in you talking about them, than they are talking about yourself. That's kind of obvious. And finally, always buy them expensive things. They love expensive things. Trust me." Raven took a glance at Priscilla. "I know all about it." Raven gave Erk a quick pat on the back and hurried back to his sister.

'Wait…Raven was actually being nice?! Wow, that is so cool! But it's kind of creepy to…I guess that's why it's Halloween.' Erk followed behind Raven and went to Florina. Next to enter was Guy, who had dressed as a character well learned in the samurai arts. He dressed up as Samurai Jack. He had cut off part of his ponytail and dyed his hair jet black. He also obtained a basic, white kimono as well, and wore his favorite Killing Edge at his side. Since his costume required a weapon, Hector didn't take it away. Guy looked around the hall for someone to chat with, but found no one. Well, no one until a bucket of water dropped on his head.

"Who the hell did that?!" Guy flung the bucket of water off of his head and whirled around. Matthew, still dressed in his raccoon costume, was snickering at the angry expression on Guy's face. "Grr…Matthew!"

"Lighten up, Guy! It's just a party. Everyone plays a prank or two." Matthew grinned at Guy, who was trembling in rage.

"Then let's see how you like this trick!" Guy dragged Matthew to the entrance to the castle and tossed him out, where Matthew was immediately set upon the group of girls that had been escorted out of the castle. Guy chuckled as he heard muffled threats being aimed at him.

"Guy! Mmph…When I-Get off!-get my hands on you, I'm going to-Get offa me!-kill you!" Matthew was struggling under the group of girls who were busy hugging him and asking for his autograph. Guy laughed at Matthew's misfortune and felt at home with the party once again. As for Hector, he saw what Guy had done and couldn't help laughing at him henchman's predicament. Before he could rescue Matthew, he was distracted by Farina, who had entered the grand hall as well.

Like her sisters, Farina had dressed as one of the Sylph sisters, Yutis to be exact. Since her hair was already blue enough, she didn't bother to dye it any color. She had borrowed a bow from Rebecca and held it at her side, albeit awkwardly. She had also managed to make some fake wings like Fiora, and was wondering how she would get them to move when Hector stepped up to her.

"Nice costume Farina. I assumed you and your sisters came with a theme?"

Farina thought of just brushing the lord aside, but decided to answer his questions. "Yeah, we're the Summon, Slyph, from Tales of Symphonia."

"Ah…Okay. Well then…"

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, I just thought you were going to go as something a little more kiddy. You know…Like the Powerpuff girls or something. My mistake."

"…" Farina stared at Hector, and suddenly, her eye began to twitch. Then she balled her left hand into a fist and socked Hector in the mouth. Hector picked himself from the floor and rubbed his jaw.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"Well…I didn't punch you because you suggested it. It's just that it's really scary because that would be a good match. But I am never going as a Powerpuff girl as long as I live, got that?!" Farina glared at Hector, her eye still twitching dangerously. He held up his arms in truce and nodded.

"Sure, sure. Don't worry about it. Never mention it again. I promise. So...How'd you make your costume?" With that, Hector avoided more bodily harm to himself and had steered the conversation away from a very delicate topic. While he was chatting with Farina, Matthew was having a little trouble outside the gates. He had managed to escape the giggling group of girls, hey, it's alliteration! Anyway…He managed to escape the girls only to come across an entirely new obstacle, the castle guard. In the recent chaos, Lord Uther had hired a new guard and unfortunately for Matthew, she seemed very, very radical about raccoons. How did he know? Well, the fact that she started hugging him the moment she saw him helped a bit.

"Uh…Guard lady…I'm not a raccoon."

"Of course you are! Look at your cute, bushy tail! Oh, it's so cute!" She began hugging it and petting it. Taking a chance, Matthew grabbed his tail and ran for the entrance, the guard in hot pursuit. He finally made it in and slammed the door shut before the guard could catch him. Breathing heavily, he sword an oath to get revenge on Guy.

"When I get my hands on him, I'm going to make sure that I cash in on those favors he owes me. And boy…He will never like it, but it'll serve him right!" Matthew stalked to where Guy was standing, but he got detained by Marcus, who wanted to tell his stories of when he was just a recruit in the Pheraen army. Matthew saw Guy laughing at him again and tried to evade Marcus, but the elderly Paladin was just too strong and held Matthew down. Glaring at Guy, Matthew slowly slipped into a stupor as Marcus droned on and on about his exploits.

However, for Guy, he soon grew bored with the party again. Since most of the party-goers weren't here yet, he didn't have anything to do. Fiora and Eliwood were hugging each other in a corner and Hector and Farina were talking about their costumes. Erk was thanking Florina again for making his costume and Priscilla was trying to convince Raven to go dancing with her. Luckily for Guy, another person entered that captured all of his attention. Actually, the costume that she was wearing captured everyone's attention, especially the guys.

The moment Erk spotted the newcomer, he quickly turned and examined something in the curtains. Since he didn't want to feel disloyal to Florina, who had sewn his costume, he didn't want to spare another glance at the newcomer. As for Eliwood, he couldn't help staring and received a whack on the head by Fiora because of it. As he turned to apologize, he saw Hector also having trouble keeping his gaze on Farina. But Hector had more resilience, so he managed not to stare at the newcomer for that long.

As for Matthew, his eyes nearly went as wide as saucerplates when he saw what kind of costume the newcomer was wearing. So, roused out of his stupor, he spent the rest of Marcus's lecture staring at the newcomer. As for Marcus, well, he didn't notice a thing. Raven took a single glance and turned back to Priscilla, as if he experienced this thing every day in his life. As for Guy, his gaze kept getting pulled back to the newcomer, and his heart started to beat faster when he found out the newcomer was walking towards him.

Now, to finally solve the mystery of the newcomer. It was Lady Lyndis, dressed in her costume of Xena, Warrior Princess. No other explanation is needed, I think. Anyway, after the excitement of her entering the grand hall had vanished, everyone went back to what they were doing before. She sat down next to Guy, looking extremely nervous.

"Um…Guy? Do you think this costume is…a little too revealing? I'm just so nervous…We've never done anything like this on the plains." Lyn placed her hands on her lap and turned to Guy, who immediately flushed red.

"Ah…Um…Well…You see…It's…" Guy kept on stammering while his eyes kept roving downwards. He quickly brought them up to her face but they kept drifting downwards. Finally, he just looked at the floor, his face still a bright red. Lyn started to giggle at him and smiled.

"It's okay, Guy. I know my costume…is a little weird. And I know you can't help it. Come over here. Tell me about your costume." Guy's face brightened and he sat down next to Lyn, where he started to explain all he knew about Samurai Jack and about his costume.

Next to arrive was Serra, dressed as Starfire from Teen Titans. She had dyed her hair orange-red and put in green contacts. She also put her hair down and changed her outfit as well. She immediately ran to Erk and began to hug him.

"Hiya Erky! You're so cute! Who made your costume?"

"Uh…Florina did." Erk pointed to Florina, who was behind him. Serra immediately released her hold on Erk and began glaring at Florina. Florina started to get nervous under that stare and hid behind Erk, who was busy trying to ward off Serra. Serra continued to glare at Florina, even thought she was behind Erk. Maybe Serra could see through people, which is why she was able to keep a firm glare on Florina, without even seeing her.

"…and now here I am, the leader of the Pheraen knights, and retainer to the great Lord Eliwood!" Marcus finally finished his speech, but saw that Matthew had fallen asleep. Carrying Matthew by his cloak, he shook him awake.

"Zzz…Don't hurt me! Hey! Wha-? What's going on?" Matthew looked around dazedly and suddenly realized he was getting carried to the front gate again. Struggling against Marcus, he let out shouts of help. "Don't throw me out again! I promise to be good! Don't send me out there!"

"Nothing doing, young man! You need to learn to listen to your elder's stories!" With that, Marcus tossed Matthew outside, where he was immediately set upon by the hordes of screaming girls again. Letting out a huge scream of terror, Matthew promptly fled towards the castle, only to be detained by the castle guard again.

"Is the whole world against me?!" Matthew set up a wail while the guard started to glomp him again.

* * *

Chris: Poor Matthew, huh? Don't worry, he gets better luck later, I think…And don't worry. In keeping with the spirit of Halloween, there is going to be scary stuff in here. Not very scary stuff, but some scary stuff. And yeah, it'll be scaaaary. Trust me. 

And the reason why I'm putting this out much earlier than Halloween is that there are going to be a ton of people to introduce in the party, and I'm trying to complete it before Halloween. It might extend past Halloween a little, but I'm mainly trying to get it completed before it. The final chapter will be posted the day before Halloween, mmkay? So, anyway, since I'm mainly working on this, my other stories will have a much lower priority. As in, I'm not going to update them much, if at all. Sorry for the delay, but this story is worth it.

And there would be indents, but the Quick Edit thing isn't getting it the way I want it. You know, how there's an indent and the beginning of every paragraph? Well, I can't do that in QuickEdit. Which blows! I always have that! But now I can't. Review if you want!


	2. Eliwood is Grounded! Ha!

Chris: Okay! Due to the great reception this fic has, and the fact that I have to write around 13 chapters in like 24 days, makes me want to update! Which is why this story is actually going to have a regular updating time, which is virtually unheard of from me. Anyway, reader responses and I'll start off with the second chapter of my Halloween Special! Oh, and just so you know, I'm making Hector's birthday Halloween. If you've read the latest chapter of Farina's Diary, you would know.

**PMOHWinters:** Yes, yes it does suck to be Matthew. Poor Matthew...Oh well, he gets better luck. I'm sure of it...Or he might get glomped by the fangirls again. Whatever is more scary to Matthew. Probably the fangirls.

**Wintress:** Thanks for the compliment, and I am writing more. I have to. It's due at Halloween.

**sleepyhead:** Yes, it can have humor and horror in the same fic. It will be very weird when the horror stuff starts, since like every scary thing happening to the characters will get turned to comedy for the readers. It's a very thin line between horror and comedy and I try to walk on it. Unless I fall off. And no, in these type of stories, I try to keep the people in character, so therefore, Lucius is going to act like...Lucius, and not a girl. Trust me. Oh, and I have all of the costumes down already. Thanks for the suggestion though.

**I-Am-Erk:** Yep, Florina/Erk is original. I hope I was the first one to create it. Actually, the first time I made my Florina/Erk fic, someone else's was up a couple of numbers down. So I don't know if I'm first. I am first in creating other pairings. And Eliwood/Fiora isn't original, it's in the game. You just don't see many stories with it.

**Eh?:** Umm...Yeah. More characters are going to be in here. Actually, all of the FE characters are in here. Yeah, just wait a minute. I don't want to stuff 55 people in one chapter. I like introducing them singly and then they go with the group. Also, it's much easier to see the pairings as well. And I hope the scary stuff is good enough for your expectations.

**Kiyoko-chan:** Hmm...Yeah...I could have described the grand hall and the weather a bit more...Which is what I'll do when they go into their adventure. And in the costume contest at the end. So, yeah...And I guess you would know about the ears and tail.

**flamefirefox:** Wow. Someone who hates Teen Titans. Actually, I'm not too fond of it either, but Serra's and Starfire's personalities match very well. You've got to admit it. Which is why Serra's dressed as Starfire.

**A fan of fire emblem:** You'll just have to see, won't you? Actually, you'll find out in this chapter, because Sain's in it. Oh, and he's not Zelos. Although Zelos was my first choice.

**The Winged Wolf:** Um...Yeah. Sure. Actually, the horror comes later...Like chapter 6 or 7 or something. If you're reading this just for the horror, check back then. And don't get your hopes up that high. I'm not really a horror writer. I'm a comedy writer. And Jaffar is not going to be a puppy. That's just demeaning.

* * *

While Matthew was struggling with the guard outside, another member of Hector's army entered the grand hall of Castle Ostia. Bartre's gaze wandered over the wide ceiling, the magnificent paintings of the Scouring hanging on the walls, and at the costumed party guests. The hall was bright from the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. He felt like he was missing something, but he just shrugged and walked around. Hector was the first one to notice him.

"Bartre! Where's your costume? Didn't you know this was a costume party?"

Bartre spun around, finally remembering what he had forgotten. He gave a groan. "Oh...I forgot to get my costume. You didn't tell me!"

Hector sighed. "Don't you ever read the memos we send you?"

"WHOA! I get memos! I thought they were napkins! And I can't read that much! There were such complicated words!"

"Uh...The most complicated word in there is probably Halloween."

"Arrrrghhh!" Bartre dashed around, clutching his head. Hector just shook his head and went back to Farina when he spotted another person entering the grand hall. This time, the person was Dart, dressed as his number one favorite pirate, Jack Sparrow. Dart rushed up to Hector so he could show off his costume.

"Arr, matey! How'd you like me costume?!" Dart tipped off his plumed hat and bowed to Hector. He was covered with pirate regalia, and had made a small wooden pistol to mimic the one his idol had.

"Uh...Dart. You're a pirate."

"Exactly! I'm Jack Sparrow, the terror of the high seas! I've got me own ship, too!"

"Dart, you're already a pirate!

"But-"

"Just go back to the dressing room and change into another costume."

Dart hung his head in disappointment and trudged back to the dressing rooms. He stuck his tongue out at Hector as he disappeared into his room. Hector sighed and turned his attention back to Bartre, who had stopped running around the room and distracting everyone. Waving his arms for silence, Hector faced them all.

"You have now seen that Bartre has no costume! What should we do to him?"

The answers were less than satisfactory. Apparently, no one could really think of something to do to Bartre. The most devious of the suggestions was to tickle him. And that was just creepy, not scary. Hector shook his head.

"Fine! I'll choose! We all must...choose a costume for Bartre!" He paused at this point, expecting cheering. Instead, there were a few small claps and a sob from Bartre. Hector lowered his arms. "Come on! Show some enthusiasm! I'll give you 1,000 gold!"

"YAY!" Everyone jumped up and started to form their own ideas of what Bartre's costume should be. Bartre looked nervously at everyone and awaited his punishment.

A couple of minutes later, a decision was reached. Hector, acting as spokesman, as usual, read out Bartre's costume.

"The vast majority of us have decided that you should be dressed in a clown suit with a tutu." There were a few smothered chuckles from the group, but most of the faces remained grim. Bartre gulped. He had to ask one question.

"Uh...What did the insignificant minority say?"

"You don't want to know." Hector shuddered. "You don't want to know."

Bartre nodded. He'd understood why they were doing this, and he accepted his punishment. He headed for a dressing room to wear his outfit. As he was heading up the stairs, Dart headed down the stairs. This time he was dressed up as his second favorite person, Blackbeard. This time, he had obtained a pirate hat with a skull adorned on it and a black...beard. Ahem, yeah.

"How's my costume now?" Dart showed off his new pirate outfit while Hector shook his head in disappointment. His birthday was starting to turn out really weird.

"Dart...I don't think you're really grasping the idea here."

"I'm in a different costume, right?!"

"Well...You see. The point of a costume party is to dress as someone that you aren't in real life."

"I'm not Blackbeard in real life!"

"Yeah...But Blackbeard is still a pirate, and you're a pirate. So therefore, no chance Dart. And since you blew the last chance we gave you, we shall choose your costumes now." Hector walked back and conferred with his group, who came up with the verdict a minute later.

Hector shuddered as he walked to Dart. "I'm very sorry, my friend, but the verdict is in. Everyone wants you to dress up..." Hector shuddered again at this point. Dart accepted his fate with the pride needed to become a pirate. Hector regained his courage and finished reading the note. "You shall dress up as....Serra!"

Dart was prepared for everything...Except this. He gave a groan of despair and slumped to the ground. Erk wasn't going to let Dart get off that easily though. He still burned with vengeance about the fact that Dart had been one of the people that made him look like Serra. He was determined to get his revenge, and he had finally gotten it.

"Hah! Now you'll see how it feels like to look like h-her!" Erk pointed at Serra, who looked indignant. Hector was different, and gave Dart a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Dart." With that, everyone went back into their little groups, leaving Dart to face his fate alone. He stood up, a mask of resolute acceptance on his face, and strode to his dressing room, determined to live through this Halloween, no matter how embarrassing it would be. He strode nobly to his dressing room, where he promptly threw a tantrum about having to dress as Serra. Everyone could hear crashing from his room as he used his twin axes to demolish everything.

While Dart was throwing a tantrum and Bartre was looking dismally at his costume, another person entered the room. This was Rebecca, dressed up as Tyrande Whisperwind from Warcraft III. She had gotten a hold of some purple powder, and had covered herself with it, and she also dyed her hair dark purple to complete the affect. Also, she had practiced her archery enough so that she was able to shoot arrows that would catch on flame. She was immensely proud of her costume and hoped that one person in particular would notice.

As soon as she entered the grand hall, Priscilla rushed up to her to congratulate Rebecca on her stupendous costume. Rebecca nodded and explained how she had made it while searching for someone in the room. The person who she was looking for finally entered and she bid farewell to Priscilla while rushing towards him.

Wil entered the grand hall and scratched his head. His costume was really irritating him, since he had just found out he had an allergic reaction to green powder and dye. He was dressed as Beast Boy from Teen Titans and it was making him sick. His outfit was itchy, he kept on sneezing because of the powder, and he thought he looked stupid. However, he did this just to please someone because she said that she loved Beast Boy. So, he dressed up as him so he could make her smile. He went around, searching for the lady that he was searching for.

Meanwhile, Matthew had finally escaped the castle guard, again. Panting, and swearing a bitter oath to never dress as a raccoon again, he glanced around the hall to see if there was someone he could play a prank on. Farina was shaking a fist at Hector, who was trying to ward off blows. Apparently, he had made reference to the Powerpuff Girls again. Priscilla was dragging Raven to the center of the room so they would be able to dance. Eliwood and Fiora were sharing a private kiss in the corner while Erk, who had finally mustered up his courage, gave Florina a quick peck on the cheek. Florina blushed red, and Erk started stammering apologies. Guy was still explaining his costume to Lyn, because he was extremely interested in the samurai and wanted to become on. Matthew then spotted Wil and Rebecca heading for each other, and he decided to make some mischief.

Rebecca finally caught up with Wil, and suddenly, she didn't know what to say. She became tongue-tied, trying some way to express her excitement about the fact that Wil had dressed up as her favorite character in Teen Titans. Wil was also tongue-tied, as he couldn't help staring at Rebecca's costume and wondering how beautiful Rebecca looked. Matthew broke up the tension by clapping Wil on the back.

"Hey! What's up with the two lovebirds?!" Matthew promptly received a punch in the stomach for interrupting them. He doubled over in pain as Wil and Rebecca glared at him and he staggered off before receiving another punch in the stomach. He groaned as he slumped to the floor, not wanting to receive any more punishment. He felt depressed, but he didn't know why. He took one glance around the hall and received his answer. It was because he seemed like the only one without a girlfriend. But he shrugged it off. He didn't want anyone to notice his sudden depression so he wore his smile again and thought of more pranks to play.

Back to Wil and Rebecca. With the tension broken, their words flew out from their mouths like water.

"Wow! Rebecca! You look great! And you've let down your hair too! You look amazing!"

"Wil! You dressed up as my favorite Teen Titans character! Thank you so much! Aw, you look so cute!" Rebecca gave Wil a big hug and patted him on the back. Wil coughed a little, but smiled.

"Uh...I did it because I heard you liked Beast Boy, so I dressed up as him for you." Wil cleared his throat, extremely nervous and hoping he wouldn't go into a sneezing fit. Rebecca continued to hug him.

"Thank you so much, Wil! You don't know how happy this makes me! Come on, let's dance!" Rebecca suddenly pulled Wil towards the small dance floor in the center of the hall. Raven and Priscilla were already there, although it still seemed as if Raven didn't want to dance because he kept complaining.

Bartre and Dart entered the grand hall, both trying to hide themselves because of their costumes. They quickly hid in a corner, where no one would find them. Grumbling to each other, their grumbling soon deteriorated into insults of their costumes and then into a full out fight of who's costume was worse.

Everyone crowded around them, placing bets on who would win. While this was happening, Eliwood's mother, Eleanora, entered the room. She was dressed as Princess Leia, and had put her hair into buns onto each side of her head. Her hair was also dyed a deep brown, and she wore a flowing white gown. The moment Eliwood spotted her, he hid behind Fiora.

"Eliwood. What are you doing?"

"I'm hiding! Do you know what my mother will think when she sees that I've dyed my hair blond and spiked it?! I'll be grounded for a year!" Eliwood continued to hide behind Fiora, but he was soon caught by his mother. Luckily for him, Eleanora didn't recognize him in his costume.

"Umm...Young man? Have you seen my son? His name is Eliwood. I hope he's okay." Eleanora glanced at the costume Eliwood was wearing and sighed. "I sure my son hasn't dressed up as that. He would look so foolish. And why would he do anything to displease his mother?"

"Ah...Umm...Eliwood? I've never heard of him. You might want to try asking him." Eliwood quickly pointed to Erk, who was busy betting on the contest. Eliwood might have gotten away with his little lie, except for the fact that Matthew was collecting bets for the fight.

"Hey Eliwood! You want to get in on the betting?! It's only 100 gold for a ticket! You could go home thousands richer!" Matthew waved the betting tickets at Eliwood, who groaned. Eleanora quickly put two and two together and grabbed Eliwood's ear.

"Ow! Mom! You're hurting me!"

"That's too bad young man! Why did you dye your hair?! Did you join a gang or something?! That's the only explanation! How could you do this to your poor mother...After your father passed away, I had hoped that you would become as noble as him, but instead you decided to join a gang! That's it! You're grounded for 10 years!"

"But-"

"No talking back to your elders! That's another 5 years! Want to add another 5?"

"No, mom..."

"I thought so! I'll only let you stay here because it's a party! I expect you back in our castle by 10 o'clock sharp on every other day! Got that?!"

"Yes, mother."

"Good!" Eleanora flounced off while Eliwood groaned in despair. Fiora placed her hand on Eliwood's shoulder and drew him in for a kiss. Eliwood forgot all of his troubles and handed 100 gold to Matthew for a ticket.

While everyone was betting outside, Nils and Ninian had arrived and were standing outside of the castle gates. The guard had admitted them inside because they had their costumes on. Nils had come dressed as Toad from every Mario game and put a small mushroom hat on his head. He also wore shorts and a small vest. Ninian was dressed as Princess Peach. She had dyed her hair blond and borrowed one of Eleanora's crowns. She also wore a pink dress and had a small sapphire necklace.

Nils had a small trick he wanted to play on the next people to arrive, so he told Ninian to hide and waited in front of the doors to the castle. He didn't have to wait long because Kent and Sain arrived soon after they did. Kent and Sain were dressed as that dynamic duo, Batman and Robin! Kent had gone to a local hobby store and obtained their costumes for 1000 gold. Sain was also carrying a couple of signs under his shoulders. Nils snickered when he saw them, but got ready to enact his joke.

"I'm sorry, but the party is really at Mushroom Kingdom."

Kent looked astonished and turned to Sain." What?! But the invitations said it was at Castle Ostia!"

"Then one of you must have read it wrong."

"Wait! Mushroom Kingdom isn't even on our map! Sain, you bungler!" Kent whacked Sain on the head repeatedly until he noticed Nils was on the floor laughing.

"Hahaha! You fools fell for it! Of course it's here!" Nils couldn't help chuckling as he struggled to stand up. Kent did not look happy. Nils looked into their dour faces and shrugged. "What? You guys can't take a joke?"

"No!" Kent nodded at Sain, who held up one of the signs, which said, "POW!" on it. While Sain held it up, Kent whacked Nils on the head, adding his own sound affects. Ninian rushed out from her hiding spot and stopped Kent from hitting Nils further.

"Stop it, Kent!" Kent immediately stopped hitting Nils and looked sheepishly at Ninian.

"I'm sorry...I just don't like those type of jokes." Kent paused to glare at Nils. Sain, with his job of holding the sign done, tucked it under his shoulder and helped Nils get up.

"It's okay, Kent. Come on, my Caped Crusader. Let's go inside." Ninian led Kent through the double doors of the castle. Sain looked enviously at his partner. Nils looked at Sain dubiously.

"Uh...Why are you dressed as Robin anyway?"

"Because I get to wear a red shirt and green tights and I'm loving it!"

Nils just looked at Sain like he was insane. "Uh...Right. Anyway..."

"I'm just kidding Nils. But come on, next time you want to play a joke, you've got to be more careful. Here, I'll tell you some of the finer arts of trap and joke making." Sain led Nils inside, but Nils was snatched from his grip and blindfolded by a frantic Ninian.

"Ninian! What are you doing?! I can't see!"

"Don't look, Nils!"

"Ninian. You've blindfolded me. I can't see anything."

"Oh. Good. Keep it on."

The reason why Ninian was doing this was because she had spotted Lyn in her outfit and she didn't want Nils to see.

"Ninian. Why are you doing this?"

"It's because I don't want your young eyes to be scarred for life!"

"Ninian. I'm hundreds of years old, dammit! I'm a dragon, you idiot! I've seen a ton of things that I would rather have not seen!"

"Shut up, Nils!"

Luckily for them, no one heard Nils's outburst. Ninian shushed Nils and led him to Sain, who promised to take good care of him. Actually, Sain probably didn't know what he was saying because he had developed a nosebleed because he had spotted Lyn's outfit as well. Ninian went back to Kent, and they proceeded to the dance floor, joining Raven and Priscilla, and Rebecca and Wil. Everyone else was having a great time watching Bartre and Dart, whose fight had now turned into a slap fight. Actually, most of the watchers were doubled over with laughter and were in serious danger of suffocating.

Hector looked around at his booming party and smiled. "This party is going to be the best one I've ever had. I can't wait for the rest of the guests to get here! Boy, I'm sure nothing would be able to go wrong today!" Boy, later he was going to appreciate the bitter irony of that statement.

* * *

Chris: I don't know why, but I have romance in here too. How about that? It's weird...And if you're here just for horror. Come back in like 5-6 chapters. Then you'll get your horror. It's not going to be "Oh my god! That's so scary!" horror though. So yeah. And...Uh...Yeah. Don't get your hopes up too high for the horror. I'm a humor writer first and foremost. Oh, and no one dies. I'm not a person who likes making people die. Even Marcus. Although he's an experience hog. Even experience hogs have a right to life.


	3. Peace Pipes and Santa

Chris: I'm back! Sorry for the long wait, but I've been hit with a ton of schoolwork. Plus my dad's been on my case for staying on the computer too long. I hope I'll be able to finish before Halloween though.

Mia: That's a certainty. No ifs about it.

Chris: Shut up. But I have more Halloween stuff for you! Still not at the horror yet. But some evil people are introduced! Yep! You'll hear about one of Nergal's super secret, most devious plan! Okay...I don't think I have any announcements. Just reader reviews, okay? Oh, and I don't remember how to spell Bramimond...Someone said it was this spelling, so I'm going to type it this way.

**Zero84:** Yep, Karel's coming. And no, he's not a vampire. Sorry.

**Charlie:** Ooops...Oh well...Maybe he got struck by intelligence or something.

**lugiamania: **Thanks a lot! I'm glad you liked the ideas. My friends and I came up with them.

**flamefirefox:** Yeah...Teen Titans again. But I promise that there are no more Teen Titans characters. And hell no, this story is not Raven x Priscilla. That's just weird, sick, and creepy, all in one. Nah, Priscilla gets someone else. Although it's weird how she gets her boyfriend. You'll find out later. And it's going to be like funny scary. If that's possible.

**Smash bro trainee:** Actually, we already got all of the costumes. Sorry. Thanks for the suggestions though. And well, we just picked on Dart because it was funny. And besides, Guy is cooler. And he technically isn't a samurai, because he doesn't serve under a lord. A samurai is an eastern swordsman who serves under a local lord. Like the western knights/cavaliers.

**Kiyoko-chan:** Thanks for the compliments. And I picked on Dart because it's funny. Very funny. And thanks for the virtual pocky! I sure hope I finish before Halloween.

**person (x2):** Thanks and...uh...Yeah. Thanks for reviewing.

* * *

Now that the party was getting started, more people filtered inside the grand hall. The first was Lowen, the knight of Pherae and overall great cook. As such, he was dressed as an Iron Chef. However, he edited the colors so it would make him seem more Pheraen. So he changed them to red and blue. He spotted Rebecca, who was taking a breather from dancing, and walked up to her.

"Hey Rebecca! What's your costume?" Lowen had a big smile on his face and Rebecca couldn't help smiling as well.

"Ah, I'm dressed as Tyrande Whisperwind from Warcraft III. I assume you're dressed as an Iron Chef, right? Except you've edited the colors a bit...Nice costume though."

Lowen blushed red at the compliment. "Wait...If you're Tyrande Whisperwind...Aren't you supposed to have a white tiger or something?"

"Who do you think I am? Siegfried and Roy? You can't just go buy a tiger at the local hobby shop, you know!" Rebecca glared at Lowen, who looked visibly shakened. "Sorry about that Lowen...It's just that I've heard that line a lot." She glared at Hector. "Anyway...You want to dance?"

Lowen turned even more red at that statement and stuttered off a couple of words. "I-I'd be g-glad to, Rebecca...B-But what about Wil? Wasn't he dancing with you?"

Rebecca looked at Wil and nodded. "Yeah, but we decided to switch partners after a while. But come on Lowen! It'll be fun!" With that, Rebecca dragged a protesting Lowen out onto the dance floor. Wil gave a little sigh and watched as Rebecca and Lowen danced. However, he was a little worn out so he didn't feel like finding a partner for dancing.

Next to come in were Oswin and Wallace, the twin knights. Oswin was dressed as the knight Leo from Suikoden 3. Oswin didn't have to alter his appearance that much, sine Leo looked so much like him. So therefore, Oswin just got one of Hector's Killer Axes and borrowed Wallace's armor for the party. Plus, he glued on a small little mustache. Wallace, on the other hand, was dressed as Jean luc Picard from Star Trek. Everyone gasped at Wallace's costume, and soon rumors were spread around the room.

"Wallace is a Trekkie?!"

"I so didn't expect that."

"Wallace is bald! HAHAHAHA!"

"He already was bald, idiot."

"Oh."

"He's a TREKKIE!"

Wallace glared at everyone who was talking and Hector and Matthew quickly shut up. Suddenly, Oswin looked philosophical and rubbed his chin.

"You know, I think there's a little Trekkie in all of us. I think we can all be comforted in the fact that somewhere, somehow, someone will always answer when we say, 'Beam me up, Scotty!'" Everyone looked horrified at Oswin's little speech and started to drag him away.

"He's been infected! We need to beat it out of him!" With that, they began hitting Oswin until he woke up from his philosophical state. While the guests were busy beating the Trekkie spirit from Oswin, someone else entered the room. It was that jolly St. Nick, the only Kris Kringle, the master of Ho Ho Ho's himself, Santa Claus! Actually, it was Athos as Santa Claus. He had donned a red cape and hat and even brought a small bag of presents for all of the guests. He lugged the bag until he finally found a seat and sighed.

"Boy...Being Santa is hard work. I am never doing this again." First to come up was Eliwood. Eliwood sat on Athos's lap. "So, what do you want, Eliwood?"

"Athos? Is that you?"

"Ah...Ahem...Of course not. I'm Santa Claus! So, what do you want, my boy?"

"I want a castle, and a cool horse, and a really huge, heavy sword, and I already have a girlfriend...I want my curfew to be abolished, I want everyone to call me king, I want a lot of video games, and I want-"

"Whoa, whoa there! Isn't that a bit much? How about a Silver Sword instead?"

"Santa!" Eliwood started to whine. "You always got me the stuff I wanted all those other years!"

"Fine, fine, Eliwood! I promise I'll get you everything. But for now, just have a Silver Sword and this...potion that I found. I don't know what it is. I think it's love potion. Don't use it. Or else I'm putting you on my naughty list."

"Thank you, Santa!" Happy again, Eliwood bounded off to talk to Fiora again. Athos let out a long sigh but brightened as he saw his age-old friend enter. His friend, Braimmond, entered the room with his costume, which was a tablecloth with two eyeholes cut into it. Everyone stared at the pathetic costume for a while, and then ignored him.

"Bramimond, my dear friend! I'm glad you were able to come!" Athos guided his friend to his seat. "So, you got my invitation, right?"

"Yes, yes I did Athos. I came as fast as I could."

"Yeah...But seriously...You're one of the 8 Heroes, Bramimond. You should at least come up with a better costume than a ghost. Where's the originality?!"

"Oh, and I supposed your costume is more original, SANTA!"

"Oh, that's it! You're on my naughty list! No more presents for you!" Athos huffed and dragged his bag away. He was immediately set upon by the next newcomer, who was Nino. She was dressed in a red cloak that she borrowed from Erk and carried a little basket. Yes, she was Little Red Riding Hood and now she was busy asking Athos for presents.

While she was asking Athos, Bartre and Dart were still fighting. However, now it just involved seeing who can poke the other person's eye out. Not very...how would you say...intelligent, I guess. Eliwood and Fiora were busy joining the other couples on the dance floor and Farina was dragging Hector to there as well. Wil was busy grimacing and dancing with Serra, who was telling him all about her life as a servant of House Ostia. Raven was busy glaring daggers at Matthew, since Priscilla decided that she wanted to dance with Matthew instead. Eleanora was waiting for Lord Uther to arrive, so that they may discuss political matters with each other.

Sain and Nils were busy playing pranks on the various party-goers while Kent and Ninian were quietly talking in a corner. Oswin and Wallace, being the knights that they were, were busy playing chess. Erk was still busy stammering apologies when Florina kissed him back on the lips. Erk's eyes widened but he quickly relaxed into the kiss and brought his arms around her. Lyn was busy taking a picture of her friend while listening to Guy talk more about the samurai. While all of this was happening, Lord Uther finally arrived to come to his brother's birthday.

He was dressed as that superhero of justice, with the big S on his costume, Superman! He descended the stairs and Lady Eleanora began talking to him about state affairs. Uther quickly adapted to this topic and soon they were talking about many various things that could affect the kingdom. Next to enter were the couple Isadora and Harken. Isadora was dressed as Laurana from the Dragonlance series and had dyed her hair a golden yellow and wore a flowing gown of green. Harken, on the other hand, was dressed as Jim Skylark from Gatekeepers. They bid good day to Uther and Eleanora and quickly went to the dance floor, where they began to dance.

Matthew and Priscilla stopped dancing and sat down to catch their breath. "Hey Priscilla. You're not a bad dancer."

Priscilla blushed at the compliment and smiled. "Thanks. We learned a lot of dancing at Etruria."

"Ah...I see...Hey, hasn't it gotten a little more boring here? It just feels...boring for some reason."

"Now that you mention it...I have been feeling something like that."

Hector and Farina sat down beside them. Hector looked thoughtful, then mischievous. "Ah, I know. It's probably the knights."

"HEY!" Oswin and Wallace turned around from their chess game and stood up, glaring at Hector. Oswin readied his axe and pointed it at Hector while Wallace picked up a lance from the floor and prepared to throw it. Hector chuckled nervously.

"Hahah...It was just a joke. I didn't mean anything by it." Hector grinned shakily and let out a sigh as he saw Oswin and Wallace lower their weapons and go back to the chess game.

"That was stupid, Hector. That's why you need me around!" Farina grinned and dragged Hector back to the dance floor. Matthew and Priscilla grinned at their antics and followed them. Next to arrive were Karel and Karla, the Swordmaster siblings. Karel glared around the lively party and drew his sword out a little. He was dressed as the Evil Arthas from Warcraft III, and he felt like killing people. His hair was dyed a dark blue-white and he had grayed his skin a lot. He grinned at all of the partying people, envisioning the people he would kill. Karla put a restraining hand on his arm, and he stopped. Karla was dressed as Motoko Aoyama from Love Hina, and she didn't want anything bad to happen to the party. She came because she heard rumors that her brother would be attending the party, so she waited and found him as he was about to enter.

They entered quietly and Karla had to continue to restrain Karel from going back to his more primal instincts. She would have succeeded if three events didn't happen. First was Karel spotting Guy and his talk of the samurai. Karel broke free from Karla's grip and sat down next to Guy. Instead of whipping out his sword and killing him on the spot, Karel engaged Guy in a stirring debate over the samurai. Lyn was kind of like the judge, and she rated Guy's and Karel's arguments. The second thing was that Bartre noticed her. The third was that Farina noticed her. Bartre quickly pushed Dart into the wall and charged at Karla with his axe drawn. Karla tried to smother her laughter but failed and giggled at Bartre's ridiculous outfit.

Farina, on the other hand, threw a bag of gold at her feet. "Hey, I didn't pay you back for giving me that Elysian Whip. Would never have been able to become a Falcoknight without it. You really helped me out there." Karla quickly nodded before whipping her sword out to counter Bartre's attack. Soon, they were fighting all around the castle with everyone else trying to avoid them if they could.

Next to enter the grand hall was Hawkeye, dressed in the regalia of the Indian Chief, Sitting Bull. Actually, he didn't have any idea what Sitting Bull looked like, so he just wore a feathered headdress and some furs. He also carried a bow on his back and a long pipe in his hand. He called Eliwood and Fiora over, and then looked at what everyone else was doing. Erk and Florina were still kissing, oblivious to everyone else. Marcus had cornered Bramimond and now was telling him how things were in the old days. The only problem was that Bramimond was older and had a lot more stories to tell Marcus. Nino was busy playing with Athos and Karel, Guy, and Lyn were still in their debate.

Wil and Lowen had switched partners and now Wil was dancing with Rebecca and Lowen was with Serra. Lowen clearly didn't like the change, but Wil was smiling happily. Matthew and Priscilla continued to dance, as were Hector and Farina and Harken and Isadora. Raven had finally stopped fuming, and was busy watching Oswin and Wallace's chess game. Karla and Bartre were still wrecking the room and Dart was trying to find a new costume. Uther and Eleanora still were talking about politics. Sain and Nils were rigging traps around Uther and Eleanora that would trigger if they moved. Kent and Ninian were locked in an embrace, Ninian's head resting on Kent's shoulder.

Eliwood and Fiora finally reached Hawkeye (They were busy maneuvering around Karla and Bartre).

"So, Hawkeye, what's up?" Eliwood looked quizzically at Hawkeye.

"I just wanted to show you this. It's a peace pipe. Take a puff." He held out the foot-long pipe to Eliwood. Eliwood looked at it and took it out of Hawkeye's hands. He took a long puff and gasped.

"WHOA! Now I see why they call this a peace pipe!" Eliwood was going to take another puff when Hawkeye snatched it out of his hands.

"One puff per person."

"Aww...Oh well. Fiora, you try it."

"Well, if you think it's okay, Eliwood." Fiora took a quick puff and coughed a little. "Wow...That's pretty strong stuff."

"Yep." Hawkeye took the pipe and wandered around, offering puffs to the other guests.

"So, what do you want to do?" Eliwood looked at Fiora.

"Oh...I've got an idea." Fiora leaned in and kissed Eliwood and brought him closer to her. Eliwood returned the kiss and continued to hold her. They would have continued like this if Hector hadn't whistled and said, "Why don't you get a room?!"

Eliwood spun around and glared at Hector, who was grinning. Fiora flushed a pretty red and looked at her sister, Farina, who was grinning as well. Hector flashed Eliwood a thumbs up and Farina winked at Fiora before they went back to dancing. Eliwood and Fiora stood there for a while, feeling extremely awkward. They then started talking about how they were going to get revenge on Hector and Farina.

The next guest was Merlinus, dressed as that cowardly Diablo II merchant, Gheed! He even had some merchandise to sell. He spotted Dart in his silly costume and came up to him, looking to make some quick gold.

"I see you're in need of a couple of costumes, my friend." Merlinus held out the two costumes he brought with him. They were not very appetizing choices, considering one was a cowboy suit and the other was a medieval knight suit. Dart sighed and pointed at the cowboy suit.

"How much?"

"I'm selling these for the low, low price of 40,000 gold!"

"Whale guts! That's way too high for such a crappy costume!"

"I can always take my business elsewhere."

"Fine...But seriously, you got these out of a dumpster, didn't you?"

"And if I did?"

"Nothing...Sigh...Here ya go." Dart handed over the 40,000 gold to Merlinus and left to change his costume. Merlinus then got the attention of Bartre, who finally stopped fighting to buy the last costume. Now 80,000 gold richer, Merlinus sat down and watched the party unfold, talking to himself about his supplies.

Outside, talk of another sort was happening. That is, Nergal and his evil band of minions were planning to disguise themselves so they could enter the party and kill Eliwood.

"Okay Lloyd. I need you to go for reconnaissance so we will be able to know what kind of defenses are there. They are all gathered together! We must take advantage of this moment!" Nergal looked at Lloyd, who was moping around. "Oh Lloyd, stop acting like a sissy! Your stupid brother is dead! Stop moaning about it! Don't be such a baby!"

"He isn't stupid! He was special!"

"Sigh...Fine! I'll reanimate your brother, okay?! It'll last only for a day, but will you please pay attention?!"

"Of course! But my brother comes first."

"Very well." Nergal took out some bags he had in his cloak and brought back the body of Linus. Lloyd let out a sob at the sight and Nergal glared at him. "Okay...He's lost some of his organs and a lot of blood. Let's go to my laboratory for this operation."

At Nergal's "laboratory", Nergal placed the body of Linus on a stone bench and hooked up some gizmos to him. He examined the body. "Hmm...For his liver...I have 5-year old liver and onions!" He stuffed the liver in the correct spot. "As for the spleen...We have chicken casserole!" He then proceeded to pour all of the casserole in Linus's body. "Now for blood...Well, it needs calcium...but it has to be red. I know! I have this combination of tomato juice, cow's blood, and milk!"

Lloyd looked at Nergal. "Where do you get this stuff?"

"Here and there." Nergal waved a hand around carelessly while he poured the mixture in Linus's body with his other hand. "Now! We must wait for a lightning storm!"

"Uh...Nergal...It's clear and sunny outside."

"Oh...Well, then." Nergal cast Thunder on the various devices hooked to Linus's body. Linus's finger twitched and Nergal let out a shout of glee.

"I have do-Wait. I need to get into my good voice." Nergal cleared his throat. "IT'S ALIIIIIVE!" Right then, the thunder crackled again, adding realistic sound effects to Nergal's statement. Linus then got up and scratched his head.

"Hey...Where am I? What happened to me? Why do I smell liver and onions?" Linus got off the table and received a big hug from his brother. "Uh, thanks for the enthusiasm, Lloyd. Now, what happened?"

"Oh, you were killed. Your brother acted like a sissy until I would resurrect you, so now you're alive again."

"Oh...How...interesting. No wonder I smell weird. Uh, Lloyd, you can get off now." Lloyd released his brother and faced Nergal.

"Now I'm ready!"

"Okay! We are going to implement my most sneaky, devious plan yet!"

Lloyd looked skeptical. "Right...Just like that time when you tried to deplete the ozone layer by using a ton of hairspray. It's no wonder you need that turban because your hair still reeks. And you messed up your eye too! You should have just listened to Athos."

"Don't talk to me about that self-righteous fool! And my plan would have worked!" Nergal looked indignant.

Now, Linus joined in. "Oh, and there was that other time when you used your quintessence to travel to the future. You said you hooked up Elfire tomes to these mechanical devices and rigged them to fire whenever someone pressed a button. That was a great plan."

"I can tell you're being sarcastic. And that was a great blow against the humans of the future!"

In the future, a random man was turning on his DVD player, and got this message.

"You have activated the self-destruct button. Your DVD player will now spit great gouts of fire at you. Have a god day." The man scratched his head.

"I don't remember that in the manual." He leaned closer for a look, but then a fireball raced past his head. He ran out of his house screaming that his DVD players was trying to kill him.

Now, back to Nergal's time. Lloyd had one last barb to throw at Nergal. "Right. And remember when you tried to switch all of the salt and pepper shakers in the restaurants? That was a stroke of genius. A perfect example of evilness."

"That was one of my better plans. I can see it all right now." Nergal envisioned what the customers must be going through.

In a nameless restaurant, a customer was shaking pepper onto his steak and he took a big bite. However, he noticed something drastically wrong with the flavor.

"Hey! This is salt! Oh well." He continued to eat.

Back to Nergal again. "Okay, so maybe that wasn't that great. But trust me, this plan will be my best plan yet! Just trust me."

* * *

Chris: GASP! What is Nergal's super-sneaky, ultra-devious plan?! What will happen to our happy partygoers? Is my plot cheesy or what? Will I actually finish this before Halloween?!

Farina: Nope.

Mia: No way.

Rebecca: Not a chance.

Chris: Thanks for your support. Anyway, I'm probably going to disregard reader reviews for the next chapters for the time before Halloween. After Halloween, I'll put reader review responses back in, because I'm not constrained by a schedule. And yes, I know it is almost impossible for me to finish this before Halloween. More's the pity. Oh well, I'll still continue this nevertheless. I'll bring Halloween horror in Thanksgiving! Kind of. Anyway, review, and I'll try to post up chapters faster!


	4. Enter the Villians, Kind Of

Chris: Hey again! Sorry for the extremely slow update time.

Mia: As usual.

Chris: Grr...Whatever. Anyway, I've got some more funny stuff and...other story genre's stuff for you! Let's see....There's just reader reviews....And that's about it. Oh, and everyone else will be in the story. And I apologize to any extremely fanatic Lucius fans around here. No, I'm not going to make him act girly or like a ditz...Well, you'll see. Just don't hurt me too much.

Rebecca: He doesn't own Fire Emblem. Or anything else that can make him rich.

Chris: Exactly. Oh, and I'm going to be changing some things....Like Ephidel never died...Uhai's still alive...Okay, all of the super, majorly important Black Fang people are somehow alive. And...Guinivere and Zephiel are older. Guinivere is like 7 or 8, and Zephiel is 13. Maybe those are their real ages. If they are, then I'm really good at guessing. And Fargus isn't going to be in it. He's at his own party in Badon, drinking his ass off.

**Macross-Green:** I think the rag doll thing is more cruel....Then they could dress him as Serra, but rag-dollish...Nevermind.

**Charlie: **Yep, yep. People will get scared in Thanksgiving. Oh joy. Hope they don't kill me.

**The Karlminion:** They're in this chapter. Except for Fargus. He's off getting roaring drunk.

**Kiyoko-chan:** Thanks much for the virtual pocky again. And I'm glad you liked the costumes and the evil plots.

**anonymous:** Like I said earlier, all of the costumes were pre-decided. Thanks for your suggestion, though. But Lloyd really wouldn't work. I was going to a brother/brother costume. You know, since Lloyd and Linus are going together. Would make more sense that way.

**flamefirefox:** Ah....Well, you'll find out if I'm going to put Priscilla with Matthew. Although this chapter makes it quite obvious what Matthew's pairing is. And every single member of your army in the game comes. So don't worry about that. And yeah...A lot of people have been talking about this bug...Stupid

**Draconian Assassin (x2):** Thanks for all of the great compliments. Makes writing so much more fun. And yeah....I think it's a glitch too.

**timmycheese:** Uh yeah...It was. Congratulations on your remarkable perception?

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Nergal, Linus, and Lloyd were back outside of the castle, discussing their devious plans.

"But, before we can continue our plans, we have something very devious to do!"

Lloyd and Linus looked excitedly at each other and began firing off ideas.

"Robbing a bank?"

"Taking money from the rich?"

"Giving the money to the poor?

"Hiding in a forest to shoot arrows at unsuspecting corrupted officials?"

"Wearing green outfits?"

"Rescuing a damsel in distress from an impenetrable tower?"

Nergal glared at them and roared, "No, you numbskulls!"

"Awww..."

"You're mean, Nergal. We've had to do evil things while you were in charge. Why can't be good in an evil sort of way?"

"Shut up, fools! Anyway, we're going....to buy Halloween costumes!"

Lloyd and Linus looked at each other and burst out laughing. Nergal started shaking in anger and then he began unwinding his turban. Lloyd noticed the motion and quickly stopped laughing. He stopped Linus too, and they both stood stock-still.

"Ah...I see you still fear the stench of my hair since I hair-sprayed it. Now, Lloyd! I want you to gather the rest of the troupe! Linus, come with me to buy their costumes!"

Lloyd nodded obediently and walked towards the door. When Nergal's back was turned, he flipped Nergal off and headed outside. Nergal and Linus left to go find the costumes.

Meanwhile, back at the castle, almost everyone had arrived. Many of the members of Hector's army were already in the grand hall and various other guests were there, carousing and drinking. Also there were various children from throughout the kingdom that came for the party. A couple of them were discussing some of the defects of the game Metal Gear Solid 2.

"You know what? To me, Raiden never existed. He was the worst character ever!"

"Raiden? Who's that?"

"Exactly."

Just then, Lucius entered the grand hall. His costume was...You guessed it, Raiden from Metal Gear Solid 2. The angry Metal Gear Solid fans spotted Lucius and began pointing at him.

"Hey! It's a guy dressed like Raiden! Let's get him!" Immediately, the angry MGS fans began throwing fruit and trampling poor Lucius. Just then, a mob of Lucius fangirls noticed the atrocity and then started beating up the angry MGS fans. Everyone else was...actually, everyone else was fighting. Except for Erk and Florina, because they were busy kissing each other again, Matthew, because he was stealing everyone's items, and Hector, because he thought that it would look bad for his brother is he decided to beat people up. But he would have creamed every single angry MGS fan in a second.

He grabbed Matthew by his cape and shook him a little. "What are you doing?! Get the guards, Matthew!"

"Uh, my lord....The guards are in the fight."

Hector dropped Matthew to the ground, and Matthew quickly scrambled away to avoid more bodily harm. Hector thought for a while. What would his brother do in a situation like this? He turned to his brother, Uther, only to find him beating the snot out of a teenager who was carrying a sign that said, "Raiden sucks! And so does Lucius!" Hector shrugged and waded in.

Matthew sat at the sidelines, taking pictures of the fighting people, and then decided to end the fight. Besides, he wanted to talk to Priscilla and she was busy bashing people with a Berserk staff.

'Hmm...What would be the easiest way to end this battle?' Matthew thought and thought. 'I've got it!' He stood up on a chair and raised his voice. "Hey guys! I'll give you all free pie if you stop fighting!" Everyone stopped and stared at Matthew. Matthew gulped and nodded. "Yep! There's free pie in the kitchen! One at a time, please....And Priscilla, can I talk to you for a while?"

All of the Lucius fangirls and angry MGS fans rushed for the kitchen and were soon busy eating pie. The guards were getting severely reprimanded by Hector for joining the fight and everyone else was going back to what they were doing earlier. Priscilla skipped to Matthew with a big smile on her face.

"Hey Matthew! What'd you want?"

"Hey...Ya see...I never really got to thank you properly for saving my life that one time...You know, in Sonia's dungeon...I thought I was going to die....So...Would you accept this as a token of my thanks?" Matthew drew out a shining white gem that he had stolen from one of the enemies in the dungeon. 1

"Oh...Matthew...It's beautiful! Thanks very much! I love it!" Priscilla kissed Matthew and he was about to return the favor when...

"Hey guys! Matthew's got a girlfriend!" Hector shouted to everyone and pointed to Priscilla and Matthew. "Great job, henchman!"

Matthew stared and flushed embarrassingly. 'Damn it, Hector. You always know how to ruin the mood, don't you?' He looked up and saw that Priscilla was just as flustered as he was. Then he noticed Raven glaring at him. He muttered something under his breath and then stalked off to a corner. Priscilla followed up by smacking Hector around with a Torch staff and then flounced off to show off the gem she got to Farina. Hector started rolling on the floor to put out the numerous amounts of small flames that had erupted on his armor.

Next to arrive were Lord Pent and Lady Louise. Pent was dressed as that knowledgeable professor from Hogwarts, an Athos clone in his own right, Professor Dumbledore! He had fashioned a long gray beard that he had made from Athos' hair and his wife had sewn him his wizard's outfit. He actually looked more like Athos than Professor Dumbledore. Louise, on the other hand, was dressed as the Lady of the Lake from the legend of King Arthur. She set down a boulder onto the ground and stuck the legendary sword Exaccus into it.

"Listen, you brave warriors! Whoever pulls the sword from the stone can claim it as their own!" Louise broadcasted this message throughout the grand hall and soon there was a long line to see if they could pull out the legendary sword.

Because of this, no one saw the other person who entered the grand hall, except Nino. She hid behind a table as she watched the newcomer sneak stealthily into the grand hall. The newcomer was Jaffar, the Angel of Death, and he was dressed as Sam Fischer from Splinter Cell. He even had his own night-vision goggles. Don't ask where he got them. Nino watched as Jaffar sneaked up behind Matthew and got him into a chokehold. She gasped in horror as she saw Matthew slump to the ground. The next thing she knew, Jaffar was behind her.

"Tell anyone about what I just did, and I'm going to kill Santa Claus."

Nino could only nod softly. Jaffar grinned and disappeared into the shadows under the tables. Nino let out a sigh of relief and then ran to everyone else.

"Guys! Guys! Look over there!" Nino pointed to where she had seen Jaffar strangle Matthew. Everyone else turned and let out a huge collective gasp as they saw Matthew lying on the ground. Priscilla fell to her knees and started sobbing. Raven leaned over her protectively as he tried to comfort her. Everyone else rushed to the spot.

"Oh my god! Who could have killed him?!"

"Let's see...Who killed Matthew, in the BALLROOM, with ROPE?!" Pent looked around wildly to see if he could spot the culprit.

Erk leaned over and whispered to Louise. "He's been playing Clue again, hasn't he?"

"Yep...25 straight games."

"He's really got to stop playing."

"Uh...Lord Pent? I think you're going a bit too far with this." Eliwood tapped Pent on the shoulder. He spun around wildly, with a feverish glow in his eyes.

"Aha! I've got it! He was killed, in the KITCHEN, with the REVOLVER!"

"We don't have guns here, Pent! And besides, there isn't a wound."

"Ah...You're right, my boy! That means...He was killed in the STUDY with the CANDLESTICK!"

"Sigh...Let's just leave him alone." Eliwood turned around to face Nino. As did everyone else, except for Louise. She pulled her husband away for a minute.

"I'm going to throw away your Clue game. Stop playing." Pent snapped out of it and grinned sheepishly.

"I did it again, didn't I?"

"Oh yeah."

While Louise was lecturing Pent, Eliwood was busy questioning Nino.

"Now, Nino. Did you see who killed Matthew?"

Nino nodded shakily.

"That's good. Now, can you tell me who killed Matthew?"

Nino trembled and looked at Athos in his Santa costume. "The person who killed him said that if I told you guys who he was, he would kill Santa!" Nino burst out into ears. "I don't want Santa to die!"

Eliwood looked sympathetically at Nino and nodded. "I understand."

Hector exchanged a look with Farina. "You do know what Santa doesn't exist, right?"

"WHAT?!" Eliwood and Nino spun around and faced Hector.

"What? You guys didn't know that?"

"N-No..." Nino's lower lip trembled and she held onto Eliwood's leg, sobbing. Everyone gave Hector reproachful looks and Hector looked ashamed of himself.

"Great move Hector, you've just ruined Nino's hopes and dreams. And part of her childish innocence too." Farina began lecturing Hector. Fiora turned to Eliwood, who was shaking his head in disbelief.

"You didn't know, my love? I thought you were knowledgeable about the ways of the world."

"Yes....I may be a bit naïve...But I always thought Santa was real! Every year, I would get presents from him! And he would visit the castle when I was young!"

"Ah....Well, didn't you always wonder how come your father wasn't around when Santa came?"

"Well...That's true...But my father always told me he was going out for shopping!"

"Aw...Poor, poor Eliwood. Don't worry about not getting gifts from Santa. I promise I'll give you a present every Christmas." Fiora hugged Eliwood and began stroking his hair.

While Nino and Eliwood were getting comforted by Fiora, Farina, Erk, and Florina, the others were busy dragging Matthew's inert body to one of the guest rooms. Well, Priscilla was still being comforted by Raven and Lucius and she was smudging her outfit a little because she kept rubbing her eyes.

"Explain to me why we're doing this again? I just got here, and suddenly you guys told me to drag Matthew to a room." Heath looked quizzically at Legault, who was standing next to him. Heath was dressed as Sturm Brightblade from the fantasy series Dragonlance. He was decked out in steel plate mail and wore a Silver Sword on his back. Legault shrugged and pointed to Canas. Legault was dressed as Kakashi from Naruto. He had stolen some hair gel from Matthew so he could spike his hair and got Jaffar to help him make some ninja-type gear. Not surprisingly, Legault looked more like an assassin than a ninja.

"I have no idea...Ask him. Don't ask me who he is either. I don't know."

"I'm sorry, my friends, but I believe I can't fill you in on what's happening either." The person Legault was pointing to walked up to them and clapped them on the back. "It is too bad that I could not inform you of our current predicament."

Heath and Legault looked at each other. "Now who speaks like that? ...I know! Canas!" Heath spun around and faced Canas, who was dressed as Daniel Jackson. 2 Canas broke out in a wide grin.

"Exactly, my dear comrades!"

Legault tapped Canas on the shoulder. "Why do you talk like that?"

"Because-"

"KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!" Three unnamed guests popped up from somewhere and yelled that out. Canas turned and glared at them and smacked them all upside the head. Clearing his throat, he turned around to where Legault and Heath were staring at him.

"What?"

"Uh...Canas...We've really never seen you whack anyone before. And especially that hard. See? One's bleeding."

"Oh...Oops. Oh well. Want to play cards?" Canas grinned sheepishly at Heath and Legault while he pulled a pack of playing cards from behind his back. "Just don't let Farina play. If she does, we're going to lose all of our money. And we wouldn't want that, would we?" Heath and Legault quickly shook their heads.

"N-No! Of course not!" They looked at each other nervously as Canas began to deal out the cards.

"Hello friends." Renault appeared behind them and gave Canas, Heath, and Legault heart attacks. Legault fainted dead away and Heath clutched his chest in sheer terror. Renault smiled at their surprise. He was dressed as Kratos from Tales of Symphonia. He had "obtained" some hair gel from Legault and used it to change his hairdo. Plus, he bought some hair dye and fashioned his outfit in one of the hobby stores.

Heath gasped out, "Don't do that!" before fainting. Canas stood up and glared at Renault.

"You made my other card players fall unconscious! I need the money you know. There's some great new manga and fantasy books coming out!"

"Is that what you were reading on the battlefield?" Renault grinned at Canas' guilty expression.

"Uh...Yeah....Hey! I still killed people! Speaking of battling...Where's the tactician? And who the heck are you?" 3

Renault pointed to a bar where soda and drinks were being passed around. "He's over there. And to answer your second question, I am Renault, a bishop."

"Oh hey! I know you! Fiora told us all about you. She said you were creepy."

"Oh...Did she?" Renault's eyebrows lifted and one hand gripped the sword at his waist.

"Uh...Nevermind. Come on, let's get some more people to play cards." Canas hoped he didn't put Fiora in mortal danger and tugged at the collar of his costume. "Hey Chris! Do you want to play?!"

The teenage tactician turned around in his seat, his face all flushed. "Nope! Sorry! I'm busy....doing stuff! Yeah, that's it!" Sain and Nils were busy refilling Chris mug, and while he wasn't looking, they were busy pouring liquor into it. Canas sighed and shook his head.

"So...Who else can play?"

Renault responded by grabbing the three people that Canas had whacked and setting them down at a table. "You three will play cards with us. Got that?"

"I'm not playing cards! You guys are rude!" One of the guests turned and started walking away. Renault responded by stabbing the guest in the back and stuffing the body in a closet.

"Renault! You're a bishop! What happened to 'Thou shalt not kill'?!" Canas looked horrified at this act of murder and the other two guests were turning pale and white. Renault faced them, showing no expressions.

"Want me to break that rule again? Come on, deal the cards. I need the money too and I'm not going to let some whiny guest stop me. And besides, he'll be fine. I didn't exactly 'kill' him. I just stabbed him in the leg...Or higher."

"Right..." That over with, Canas began dealing the cards and soon all four of them were immersed in a poker game. The next people to enter were Geitz and Rath, since their costumes were related. Geitz wasn't happy with his costume choice, however, and wore a glum expression as he walked through the halls. Rath, on the other hand, felt his costume was extremely appropriate and was smiling, yes, he was actually smiling. Rath was dressed as Legolas and Geitz was dressed as Gimli. As soon as they entered, the Lucius fangirls that were in the grand hall earlier came back and swarmed Rath. Geitz looked depressed and walked up to the bar.

"Hey Geitz! How ya doin'?!" Chris walked up unsteadily and slapped Geitz on the back. Sain and Nils were snickering in the background as they poured more gin into Chris's mug.

"Uh...Chris?" He glanced over to see Sain pouring more of his drink into the mug. He nodded slightly in understanding. "Hey...Sain and Nils have been secretly reading all your manga. And they're the reason why some of the covers got bent." Sain and Nils shot Geitz a dirty look and started to back away. Chris turned around and faced them, his face still red.

"YOU DID WHAT?! I'll get you for that!" Chris started chasing Sain and Nils all across the castle, much to the enjoyment of everyone else. Occasional bangs and crashes resounded throughout the castle throughout the party. Geitz chuckled to himself. In reality, it had been him who had borrowed the books and had accidentally bent and ripped some pages. He knew how...fanatical Chris was about it and decided to spring a trap on Sain and Nils because they were making him drunk. His holiday cheer restored, he began counting how many beers he could throw at people he hated while they were walking past.

While that was going on, Dorcas entered and was amazed at what was happening at the party. But first, his costume. He was dressed as William Wallace from Braveheart. He still couldn't believe that so many people could fit in one hall. The angry MGS fans had settled down and now were busy playing games are drinking although some of them were still casting glares in Lucius' direction. The fangirls were now split doing three things. One group was busy ogling Rath in his Legolas costume, the second group was busy swarming all over Lucius and asking if he had a girlfriend, and the third group was busy watching Chris throw random objects at Sain and Nils. The third group also had a betting table set up so people could bet on whether or not Chris was going to hit anyone. Geitz was busy throwing empty beer bottles at some guests that appeared to be at Bulgar. He had already knocked out 3 of them and was busy trying to stop the others from trying to kill him. Hawkeye had refilled his peace pipe and was busy passing it out to people again. He spotted a group of two nervous guests, Canas, and Renault playing cards as well.

There was some commotion near a rock, so Dorcas decided to check it out. Eliwood was yelling angrily at Lyn while two young children were standing next to him. Hector was also there, trying to break up the argument. Everyone else except for Erk, Florina, Matthew, Wil, Lowen, and Rebecca weren't there. Dorcas could immediately see why Matthew wasn't there. Some of the guest had decided that his limp body (Everyone else had just dumped Matthew in a hallway) ruined the ambiance of the party so they were dragging him to a closet.

"I can't believe we, the guests, have to do this."

"Yeah!"

At that moment, Matthew woke up. "Uh...Why are you dragging me to a closet?"

The guests glared at him and one of them smacked Matthew on the head, knocking him unconscious again. "Shut up! You're supposed to be dead!" They proceeded to throw Matthew into a closet and went back to partying.

Back to the argument. It appeared that Eliwood had spent the better half of an hour trying to tug the sword Louise had brought out of the stone and had failed. Soon after, Zephiel and Guinivere had arrived. Zephiel was dressed as Luigi from the Mario series (Any Zephiel fans; don't kill me...Unless you like Luigi. Then you can praise me) and Guinivere was dressed as Princess Zelda from the Zelda: The Ocarina of Time. Zephiel took one look at the sword and took it out in one smooth motion, claiming the sword as his own. Naturally, Eliwood wasn't too happy about it and the fact that Lyn was laughing at him didn't make things any better.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! A kid was able to get the sword out of the stone and you weren't!"

"S-Shut up, Lyn!"

Louise stepped up. "Since Zephiel has taken the sword out of the stone, it is now proclaimed that he will soon be the king of Bern!"

Guinivere cheered and hugged Zephiel. He smiled and patted her on the back. Everyone else went "AWWW!"...Well, except for Eliwood because he was still angry and Lyn because she was still laughing. So now, Eliwood and Lyn were getting ready to fight and Hector was trying to calm them down.

"You shut up, Lyn! I'm much stronger than you!"

"Oh yeah? Maybe you'd like to show it, Eliwood!"

"Fine! Let's go outside where we can spar. I'm going to kick your ass!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

With those parting words, Lyn and Eliwood left to get their weapons so they could spar and most possibly beat the crap out of each other. While they were doing that, Vaida entered. She felt like spying on those she termed, "Worms", and was trying to find a way to annihilate them all. Like so, she was dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West. Some of the guests screamed.

"Oh my god! It's the witch! Throw water on her!"

Vaida had only spent a minute at the party before she was drenched with water. She slowly drew out her Spear and glared at the guests.

"She's not melting! Run away!"

Vaida's eyes turned red and she began chasing the guests around the castle, throwing a spear, the occasional startled party member, and on one occasion, Legault, because he was still unconscious. Outside, cheers could be heard because the sparring match had begun. Fiora, Hector, Farina, and Serra were cheering for Eliwood while Erk, Florina, Kent, and Ninian were rooting for Lyn. There were evenly matched, however, and no one seemed to be winning. Lyn's speed was giving her an edge, but Eliwood's armor and strength were starting to wear her out.

Meanwhile, in the castle, people were back at their original hijinks. Renault, Canas, and the two guests had stopped playing poker and started to play Clue with Pent and Louise. Just for the game, Pent donned his Sherlock Holmes outfit, stating that 'it would give him a statistical edge over his opponents'. Canas was grinning however, since he had just won over 5000 gold from everyone. Chris was still throwing chairs, pots, people, anything he could find at Sain and Nils. Priscilla was still moping, but Nino, Raven, Zephiel, and Guinivere were busy cheering her up, so she was starting to smile. Jaffar was hidden in the shadows, stalking his new victim. Actually, he was drinking milk. To be a good assassin, you need strong bones! Sorry. Bartre and Karla had gone back to dueling and Wil and Lowen were busy trying to impress Rebecca the most.

"I won the Annual Archers Competition at Pherae for three years running!"

"Oh yeah?! Well, I was considered the best cook in all of Elibe!"

"So what? My combat skills are better than yours!"

"So? My cooking skills are better!"

"Says who?!"

"Says me!"

Rebecca was looking embarrassed and was trying to calm them down. "Guys, guys! I like you both! Really!" This continued on for some time. Lucius was still under a constant barrage of questions from the fangirls. Same with Rath. Now Rath was starting to feel very uncomfortable with all of the attention and he was trying to maneuver into a room where he could catch his breath. Athos and Bramimond were busy trying to prove whose costume was better. Geitz was busy decking people out with a beer bottle and Dart had arrived to help. Merlinus was still busy counting his money over and over again. Marcus had joined Wallace and Oswin and now they were having a spirited game of Scrabble. The current argument was whether or not 'bullcookies' counted as a word.

Outside of the castle, in a nearby forest, Nergal and his minions had gathered. Jerme spoke up first.

"Why'd you call us here? You know that I want to kill people. I want to kill lots of people. You know, like cut them up. And then cut them up again. It's fun. You need to try it."

"Shut up." Nergal looked over them all. "You are all gathered here today-"

"Aw, hurry up. There's a show I want to see." Darin spoke up with a bored look on his face.

"Stop interrupting me. I'll have to start all over again."

"No! Anything but that!" Lloyd and Linus screamed out in terror. Their outburst brought out snickers and chuckles from everyone else except Kishuna, who couldn't talk. Nergal sighed and began unwinding his turban again. As soon as he started, everyone shut up.

"Good. Now that I have your attention, here is what we're going to do. Our plan is...to kill Eliwood!"

"Isn't that always our plan?"

"Yeah. Give us something new for once."

"Shut up! This mission is different, because people will be dressed in costumes. We'll be infiltrating a costume party. Which is why I Linus and I searched for costumes. Here you go." Nergal passed out packages to everyone member there. "My costume is of Rochefort from the Three Musketeers."

Ephidel looked at his costume and groaned. "Do I really have to?"

"Yes."

"Drat." Clearly, Ephidel was unhappy with his costume. He had to dress as Darth Vader from Star Wars and for some reason he didn't want to. Lloyd and Linus had different reactions to their costumes.

"Sweet! This rocks! Linus, you chose great costumes!"

"Told you!" Lloyd and Linus were dressed as Tanin and Sturm Majere from Dragonlance. Just like in Fire Emblem, Tanin and Sturm were honorable and tough. Plus, they were brothers. Just goes to show you that Linus can really pick out his appropriate costumes. Kishuna made no noise to show is appreciation or disgust for his costume. He was dressed as a French Mime and was busy doing the 'stuck in a box' routine. Sonia was dressed as Pronyma from Tales of Symphonia and her subordinate, Ursula, was dressed as Mina from Dragonlance as well.

Actually, a lot of the evil people were dressed as people from Dragonlance. Uhai was dressed as Steel Brightblade from Dragonlance. But enough of Dragonlance. Brendan Reed was dressed as Arcturus Mengsk from the game Starcraft and Darin was dressed as Lex Luthor from Superman.

"I'd rather kill people." Jerme began whining again as he put on his Illidan Stormrage outfit from Warcraft III.

"I don't like this any more than you do." Kenneth moaned as looked at what he had to wear. He was going dressed as the Joker from Batman. The final person to find her costume was Limstella, who had to dress as Sarah from Suikoden III.

"Now that everyone knows what the costumes are, let's get dressed. Then we can infiltrate the castle and assassinate Eliwood." With that, all the evil people dispersed to put on their costumes.

Back inside the castle, Rebecca really was in a jam. Wil and Lowen kept arguing about whom she liked the most and neither of them would believe that she liked them equally. They finally stopped arguing with each other and turned to Rebecca.

"Who do you like the most, Rebecca?" Both of them asked her the question and Rebecca felt her face get red. She wasn't prepared to give them an answer yet and was trying to figure out what she was going to say.

"Well...Um...Ah...In truth...The person I like the most is..."

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1Note: There is actually no white gem there. Don't bother trying to find one. Unless I'm like totally mistaken and I missed it for the last 7 times I've played.

2Uh...I actually don't have the faintest idea who Daniel Jackson is. Don't ask me. A friend gave me that idea for the costume. He did say that Daniel Jackson is kind of nerdy...Oh, and I don't know what show he's from. Sorry.

3Note that Renault isn't in the group yet. However, someone does meet him in that shrine at the first trip to Dread Isle.

Chris: Tell me who you think Rebecca should go with. I might use your suggestions...Or I might not, depending on my mood. If I want the outcome to be humorous, I'm going with my idea. If not, then I'll use your ideas. And oh my god! Is Matthew truly dead?!

Mia: No. He's dead. Especially after he woke up from being unconscious.

Chris: Shut up. You're going to have to wait for the next chapter to find out! When I type the next chapter.

Farina: By the time you're done, you're going to be bringing Halloween cheer to Christmas.

Chris: Ha, ha. That is so not funny. Even though it's probably true. Anyway, review please! And...I can't really say I'll update sooner, because I probably won't. But...Hey, I might. And I've got a 4-day weekend on me too! That's a lot of time. Oh, and anybody who ordered my Fire Emblem/Golden Sun/Tales of Symphonia Training Camps...Uh, it's going to take some more time...I'm being lazy on those. Sorry guys. And if you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, it's in my profile.

Rebecca: Announcement number 2. He's going to be updating his other stories now. Just a lot slower....Like normal. He does have some good ideas for his serious fic, though. And don't you dare pair me up with Sain. Cause if you do, you're going to regret it.

Chris: Farthest idea from my mind. Oh...And if you haven't noticed, I got a lot of costumes from the Dragonlance series. If you don't know what that is, then you're really missing out on a superb fantasy series. Go read the Dragonlance Chronicles series first. Trust me. You won't regret it. Anyway....I think that's it. I hope. I think. Oh, and the horror begins at around the next two chapters. And then it goes into scary/humor/romance/supernatural mode. I don't know if that's possible.


	5. Hector is a Hog!

Chris: Well, I'm back! With the 5th chapter and the beginning of the semi-scary stuff! And then the plot will be revealed! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Rebecca: Not like it's a really good one.

Chris: Hah. Hah. Don't think I have any announcements. Oh yeah, thanks for the suggestions, but I think I'm going to go with my idea. Sorry.

Rebecca: I'm scared.

Farina: You should be.

Chris: Well, reader reviews now.

**icebornwarrior:** Um…Thanks. And you're not fond of Eliwood, are you?

**Slapo the True Clown:** Thanks for the idea…But that'd just be weird, and I was staying with the idea that Rebecca would have to choose one of them.

**The Winged Wolf:** Yep. Milk is healthy for you. And I'm glad you're happy for no reason.

**K-Girl:** I'll keep that in mind when I create the real pairing. Whoops….Just spoiled something. Or maybe not…Mwahahaha.

**The Karlminion:** And no…I'm not pairing him with Dorcas. That's just wrong. Sorry. And apparently, Daniel Jackson is a famous name. My friend said he got Daniel Jackson from Stargate, not from the 50s.

**Kiyoko-chan:** Yep, hairspray is evil. And so is Nergal. They both are evil. And don't worry, your brother will find out in this chapter.

**I-Am-Erk:** Sure, you can join. But you do know I'm on a long break from those, right?

Chris: I don't own Fire Emblem. If you somehow cannot grasp that simple concept, remember this. Marcus actually is a secret king of a land far, far away. He's extremely powerful, but only if you level him up to 20/40.

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'I'm in big trouble….I don't know which one I like the most yet….How can I get out of this situation…' Rebecca looked around and spotted Rath, who was walking towards them. She came up with an idea and hoped it would work.

"Well…Um…Ah…In truth…The person I like the most is…" Rebecca waited until he was within arm's reach. "I like…Rath the most!" She lunged and grabbed Rath's arm. His fangirls moaned in disappointment and moved off somewhere else.

"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!" The loud scream came from Rath, who was looking at a giggling Rebecca like she was insane. Everyone turned as they saw the normally silent nomad yell out various screams of insanity and surprise. Wil and Lowen looked at each other.

"We must band together at this horrid time." Wil looked at Rath and glared.

"Yes…We must find a way to get rid of Rath so he doesn't interfere with our lovely Rebecca anymore. We must…remove him." Lowen drew his sword while Wil drew his bow. However, they quickly hid them as Rebecca flashed a glance at them.

"Yes, my comrade. Rath is intruding on our territory. Come, my brother in love. We must make…plans." Wil and Lowen left for a room and planned on ways to steal Rebecca back from Rath so they could fight each other for her. Rath nervously looked at the room where Wil and Lowen had entered because…well…they really weren't whispering. Actually, everyone had heard them and now they were looking pityingly at Rath. Rebecca was balling her fist and imagining herself beating the crap out of Wil and Lowen.

But back to the party. Lyn and Eliwood had finished their duel and none of them had won, actually. They had gotten tired and entered the party glaring at each other.Now that everyone had gathered there, Lord Uther was bringing in the birthday cake. He was restraining himself from killing the angry MGS fans, who were now content saying, "Look in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Super Uther!"

He placed the cake on a table near the bar and then proceeded beating the crap out of the MGS smart alecks. Hector shrugged and walked up to the table and started waving his hands for silence. No one was paying attention so Eliwood walked up and waved his sword around.

"Shut up or else you're not getting any cake!" That shut everyone up. They all stared up at Hector and rushed up to the cake. Hector was standing in the middle and he started lighting the candles. Everyone was staring, breathless. Hector looked at everyone and lit the next candle. And then…

Eliwood sneezed and Hector had to relight some of the candles again.

"I'm not touching that part of the cake!"

"Same here!"

Eliwood glared at them and resumed his place of honor at Hector's side. Hector was about to blow out the candles when another commotion arose. Some guests were screaming that a zombie was on the loose. Hector sighed and ordered everyone to go check out the commotion.

Earlier, while Hector was getting everything ready, Matthew woke up. He found himself in a dark room and the only light was provided through a small keyhole.

"Ow….Oh…Where am I? Last thing I remember is seeing a shadow come and then I'm here. What am I going to do?!" He started banging on what he thought was the door. "Hey! Let me out!"

"Shut up! You're supposed to be dead!" Someone from outside, probably one of the guests, yelled this back at him and then yelled, "Hah! A flush! I win! I'm the best!"

Matthew sighed. "What am I going to do now…Oh wait. I'm a thief! I've got lockpicks!" He searched through his cloak and his pockets but didn't find any lockpicks. Then he remembered something from long past. "Oh…I am so going to kill Legault! Damn thief! He stole my lockpicks! Oh…I'm so going to kill him!" Matthew punched the door in rage and it opened. "Oh…Son of a…"

The three guests that had tossed him inside the room screamed in horror. "AH! A ZOMBIE!" And then they all ran willy-nilly. Matthew stared at them in amusement and started to steal all of their money that they had left on the table. Well, now back to present time. While Hector and the others were going to investigate this zombie occurrence, Nergal and the other evil people made their move.

"Halt. You people look too evil to be able to enter. I'm sorry, but you can't enter. Well, except for the cute looking twins. Any of you got a girlfriend?" The castle guard winked at Lloyd and Linus and they stared at each other.

"Uh…No."

"Oh! Okay! That's cool! You two may enter! But wait…" She pointed at Linus. "Why do you smell like 5-year-old liver and onions and chicken casserole? And if I'm not mistaken…Tomato juice as well. Something wrong with you?"

"Uh…He just had a big breakfast and his stomach hurts!" Lloyd quickly threw out that bluff and she nodded sagely.

"Ah…You should get some Pepto Bismol for that. And if doesn't help, when you throw up, at least it will look pink and pretty!"

"Right…" Lloyd just led Linus inside the castle while the guard waved good-bye to them.

"Now…Back to you suspicious people…No entry."

Nergal and the others retreated for a while.

"What are we going to do, my lord?" Ephidel looked at Nergal, who was thinking.

"Ah…I've got it! Sonia, give me your raccoon doll!"

"Raccoon doll? Heh heh…I don't have a raccoon doll." Sonia chuckled nervously.

"Give it up. I know you have it."

"You're so mean…Good bye, Mr. Chuckles." She moaned and gave the raccoon doll to Nergal. Everyone stared at Sonia.

"Mr. Cuckles…Right."

"Hey! He was cool!"

"Shut up! We're going again!" Nergal and the others headed back for the main gate. The guard got up and stopped them.

"You again?! Still no entry."

Nergal held up the raccoon doll and waved it in front of the girl's face. "Look at the doll….There is nothing but the doll."

"There is nothing but the doll…I want the doll…The doll is everything…"

Nergal tossed Mr. Chuckles into a couple of bushes and the guard dashed for it. Nergal grinned evilly and they all entered the grand hall…and found it deserted. Apparently, everyone was at the spot where people were screaming about dead people and how the Umbrella Corporation was making money-stealing zombies.

"This was a greeeeaaaat plan, Nergal." Jerme looked glumly at Nergal. "I could have killed people."

"Shut up, Jerme! We shall just hide out and kill anyone who enters! To the bathroom!" With that, Nergal and the others headed for their first ambush point, the bathroom.

While Nergal and his evil company were getting themselves settled, Hector and the others finally were able to locate the disturbance. What they saw were three guests running in terror and Matthew taking money from a table. And naturally, their reaction was, "AHHH! ZOMBIE! KILL IT!"

Canas had a more intelligent reaction. "Hmm…Using the obvious facts in this situation…Matthew is supposed to be dead, but he's here taking money. So that must mean…He must be a zombie!"

Everyone freaked out and started to run around trying to attack him. Guy was the most freaked out, however, and he managed to stab Matthew as he turned around.

"Gah! Dammit! Why the hell are you attacking me?! That hurts!" Matthew groaned in pain and he started to curse.

"Wait…Zombies can't feel pain…Since they are technically dead. So therefore…the only conclusion is….Matthew is alive!"

"I won't be if someone doesn't take out this sword in my gut and heal me!"

Priscilla, who was moping because she had thought Matthew had turned into a zombie, was overjoyed at the news that Matthew might still be alive. She immediately went up, smacked Guy around a little, and healed Matthew while pulling out the sword and throwing it at Guy's feet. While everyone was astounded at this supreme effort of multitasking, Matthew enveloped Priscilla in a hug.

"Thanks Priscilla! You're the greatest!"

Priscilla flushed and hugged him back. "I'm glad you're all right." She began sniffing. "I don't know what I would have done without you…"

Behind their backs, Canas was motioning 1, 2, 3 with his fingers. At 3, everyone else went "AWWWW!" Matthew and Priscilla jumped and spun around to face a grinning group of people.

"You guys really know how to ruin a moment, don't you?" Matthew grumbled angrily. After that, all of them headed back to the main hall for the cake. Except for a guest that had needed to go to the bathroom. The random guest entered the bathroom and just as he was headed for a stall, Jerme stabbed him and started cutting him up into pieces and flushing them down the toilet.

"There goes his arm! And his toe!" Jerme was giggling like a schoolgirl while everyone else was puking in the other stalls.

"Ewww…Jerme…Don't do that." Ursula gagged as she watched him flush down another piece.

"Umm…Ursula…You are aware that this is the boys bathroom, right?" Darin looked at Ursula, who nodded.

"Yeah, you can tell by the smell alone. Don't you guys even get air conditioning in here?! I mean, you don't even have a TV inside! You guys are pathetic."

"Hey! Don't diss the bathroom!"

"Fine, fine." Ursula sulked and began fixing her hair.

Back at the party, Hector was once again getting ready to blow out the candles. Everyone watched as Hector was about to blow out the candles. Just as he was ready, the cake flew up and splattered on his face. Hector could have sworn that he had heard chuckling the moment the cake hit his face. But he was too preoccupied screaming.

"AHHHH! I CAN ONLY SEE IN SEVEN HARSH, FRUITY COLORS!"

Everyone else thought that Hector had just tossed the cake at his own face so he could eat it all. The comments proved that.

"Augh, Hector! Don't be such a pig!"

"Man, what a big, greedy oaf! He's trying to eat the whole cake by himself!"

"I want cake too!"

"You're grounded young man!"

That last comment was so thoughtfully provided by Lord Uther. Anyway, Hector finally succeeded pulling the cake from his face. He was panting and glaring at everyone else, but the effect was kind of ruined because of his cake-covered face. Farina was busy helping him clean off the cake when the lights suddenly went out.

Nils, in trying to keep with the idea that he was a kid, said, "Oh my god! I'm blind!"

Ninian, who was staying with him to make sure he didn't get into a trouble whispered, "Good work Nils. They'll never suspect who we really are…I hope." Out loud, she said, "Nils, Nils. You're not blind. The lights just went out."

"Oh my god! I'm blind and the lights went out!" Nils screamed again.

"Don't push our luck, Nils." Ninian whispered in his ear again and he nodded.

"Sorry, sis."

As soon as Nils said that, the lights went back on. Everyone breathed a silent sigh of relief. Nobody had really moved, except that Wil and Lowen had reappeared and were trying to kill Rath. Of course, they were failing every time because Rebecca kept foiling their plans. In other words, they were staring at her and then she knocked them out.

"Phew…Are we safe?" Matthew stopped kissing Priscilla a moment to look at Hector.

"Hmm…I think so…Well, there could be an earthquake, we could be attacked by evil minion of Nergal, or Eliwood could try to draw his sword!"

"Hey, watch it Hector. I can draw my sword just fine." With that , Eliwood began tugging at his sword. What he didn't know was that Sain and Nils had put glue on his sword and now it was stuck in his scabbard. So, as he was struggling to remove it, everyone else was busy laughing their asses off.

"S-Shut up! I can get my sword out just fine!" With one last, mighty tug, Eliwood pulled the sword free. However, the sweat that had built up from his effort had made the handle slippery, and the sword flew out of his hand and killed a random guest.

"Ah! You've just killed Unnamed Guest #23!"

"Uh…Oops?"

Canas turned around to another group of guests that were standing around and they let out a great , "You tell them, Jellywood!"

Eliwood spun around. "CANAS!"

"I'm sorry. But you've got to admit, it was funny." Canas tried to calm the angry lord but found out it wasn't working. Then he noticed that everyone else was staring at him. "What? Is something wrong with my hair?" They pointed behind him and Canas turned around. He jumped in surprise for behind him were 6 ghosts.

"Ooooh…We're here to haunt you. If you can find us all within 2 days, we'll give you a big treasure. Ooooh." With that, all of the ghosts disappeared.

Matthew perked up and jumped for joy. "Treasure! There's gonna be treasure!"

"Hmm…Okay. There were six ghosts…So we should split up into six teams." Hector immediately took charge but there was a big complaint from the people who made up Eliwood's band.

"Oh no! Oh no! I know where this is going! You guys all take the good characters and all of the sucky characters get left alone and they die!" Geitz grinned. "But we're not falling for it this time!"

Hector nodded. "Very well. Matthew, Oswin, Legault, Heath, Merlinus, Uther, and Dart, come with me!" Hector quickly left the grand hall. After that, everyone quickly made their own groups.

"Hmm…Florina, Fiora, Farina, Guy, Kent, Ninian, and Sain. You guys will come with me, okay?" Lyn headed off in a different direction with her group members.

"Let's see….Nils, Rebecca, Wil, Rath, Renault, Lucius, Nino, and Jaffar. I'll be taking you guys." Eliwood sent his group to a different direction of the castle grounds.

"Erk, Priscilla, Canas, and Serra. You're coming with me. Now." Raven and his group headed outside to check the surrounding area.

"Louise, Pent, Eleanora, and Vaida, I'd like you guys to come with me please." Karla led another group to search the castle.

Geitz looked around and found out that the only people left were members of Eliwood's Band. "Dammit! Whatever! Eliwood's Band! Let's go!"

The only people who didn't go were Athos and Bramimond, because they already knew the identities of the ghosts. So they just sat down at the bar like slobs and started eating candy. What can ya do?

But now, the marbles were set, the journey had begun. Hector had traveled down to the castle dungeons, hoping that he could claim the treasure first. Lyn and her group went for the forest, certain that they would find a ghost hiding in the woods. Eliwood headed out for behind the castle, not wanting to stray too far from the others. Raven led his group to an abandoned cabin near the edge of the castle grounds, hoping that they could find a clue there. Karla and her comrades went to the boiler room, because ghosts love to hide in there. And Geitz and Eliwood's Band grumpily went to the tower, determined to prove that they don't suck.

But what about our evil villains? They were still hiding out in the bathroom, murdering any poor innocent guest that would dare walk inside.

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Rebecca: You really don't care for the guests, do you?

Chris: Nope. Review please!

Mia: This is actually short, for once. Any questions? Comments? Call 1-800-REV-IEW!.


	6. The Quest Begins

Chris: Well, another chapter is finished, but first, I must give mourning to the death of two fics here that were especially great. The first was a classic, and that was the Diary of Erk. One of the best stories on , it was deleted because it didn't abide by the no-script-format rule. It's really sad that such a great story was deleted by that rule. And that rule struck down another story, this one aspiring to be one of the best, and it sure looked like it was going to be one. It was another journal-type story, but this time it was made by Priscilla. Boy, that story really made me laugh…So yeah, it's just horribly sucky that they had to get deleted. Stupid script-format rule.

Anyway…Let's get back to the story. Reader reviews and…That's it.

**Lord Cynic:** Hehehe, thanks for reviewing and…Yeah. Canas is smart.

**The Karlminion:** Glad you liked it.

**Ice born warrior:** Um…Matthew isn't in the bathroom…Apparently, some people missed it, but it was the guess, not Matthew, who went into the bathroom. Yeah…

**The Winged Wolf:** Hey, you're 12 now! Congrats! And stuff. And I wonder if 1-800-REV-IEW! is a real number. It probably isn't though…

**montblancerk:** Thanks for the compliment…And…Matthew x Priscilla was already out before I made it? Wow…I thought I was the creator of that pairing…Since it has really no factual or supporting evidence whatsoever. I just made Matthew x Priscilla because Priscilla needs another good ending.

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"So…Wait…Why are we heading for the cabin again?" Erk looked at Raven skeptically as they walked down the dusty road that led to a small cabin. Raven turned and glared at Erk.

"Because! All ghosts love to haunt cabins! They're old and spooky!"

"And the fact that we're bringing Serra isn't spooky enough?"

"Good point."

"I'm standing right here, you know! That was very rude!" Serra placed her hands on her hips and glared at Raven and Erk. They both backed away a little and gulped.

"Heheh, sorry about that, Serra." Erk coughed nervously and covered his mouth with his hands. Raven folded his arms and grunted. Canas and Priscilla looked at each other and shrugged. Now that this current matter had been resolved, they continued to head for the cabin. As they neared the cabin, dark clouds were gathering above them and the sky darkened.

"Whoa…That's creepy." Priscilla stared up at the sky and then back at the castle.

"What's wrong?" Raven looked at Priscilla and gaped at the landscape. Directly above them, tons of dark storm clouds were hovering, just waiting to unleash their wet payload on top of their heads. However, everywhere else, it was bright and sunny and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. "Oh…That damn ghost is just doing this on purpose. I know it." Raven shook his fist at the sky and tons of raindrops began falling on them.

"That was not a very logical or intelligent move, Raven!" Canas shouted at Raven as they ran towards the cabin, trying to avoid the dark rain cloud.

"Stuff it, Canas!"

Panting from the hard run, Raven threw open the door and everyone rushed inside. As soon as Serra, who was the last person it, stepped inside, the rain clouds disappeared and the sky became sunny again. Raven cursed and shouted at the ceiling.

"That's _real_ funny! You ghosts are dead when I get my hands on you!" Raven turned for the door, which was still open, but when he reached it, it slammed into his face. He staggered back, holding a hurt nose. Erk and Priscilla were struggling to contain their chuckles while Serra couldn't hold it in and now was giggling uncontrollably. Canas was examining the door to see what made it close like that when he suddenly disappeared through a trap door on the floor. The door creaked shut as well and Serra looked to see what Canas was doing.

"Ah! Where's Canas?!" Serra shrieked when she noticed that Canas had disappeared.

"Don't be silly, Serra. Canas is right-Oh…He isn't there." Erk stopped chuckling long enough to notice that Canas had mysteriously vanished. "Uh oh…Where is he?"

"Hmm…We'll need to send out search parties to go find him! Maybe he left through the door!" Raven immediately took charge. "Well Erk? Who do you want to travel with?"

Erk looked at his choices. He definitely didn't want to travel with Raven, because one slip of the mouth could land him into the hospital. Traveling with Priscilla wouldn't be so bad, but he wasn't sure that Raven would really let him. Plus, Raven was cracking his knuckles and glaring at Erk. Erk quickly disposed of that choice and looked at Serra. He definitely did not want to search with her. For all he knew, Serra was going to get lost and he'd have to go searching for her somewhere.

"Hmm…Spending an eternity searching for Serra or getting creamed by Raven? Man…I need a way out…Hey! I've got it! Canas wouldn't leave…So there must a trap door around here! I just need to find it!' Erk grinned at turned to Raven. "Well…You see…" He leaped to his feet and started pounding on the floor. "Canas! Where are you?! I need to find your trap door too! Let me in!" His hand banged against a switch and a trap door opened from under him. "Yes!" Erk fell through the trap door, glad that he had escaped one of the most monumental decisions in his life.

"Erki! Don't leave me behind!" Serra leaped down the trap door after Erk, trying in vain to catch him before he fell. She too, fell into the trap door and followed Erk.

Raven and Priscilla stared speechlessly at the scene of events unfolding before them. "We are not going to fall down another trap door." Raven took a step forward, and triggered another trap door to appear from under them. Priscilla and Raven dropped down into the abyss and Raven had to appreciate the cruel irony of these spirits.

While Raven and his group had set off for the cabin, Hector and his group were descending a staircase down to the dungeons. Hector lit torches along the way, but instead of giving a feeling of warmth, they seemed to increase the amount of creepiness the stairway provided.

"You know? Why are all castle stairways circular like this? I mean, it's kind of annoying." Matthew grumbled as they continued down the stairs, going around and around. Oswin, who was behind Matthew, thought of the reason.

"Ah…It's because it'll be easier for the defenders of a castle to defend his position because of the narrowness and it would also allow the defender to use his sword hand for defending while the attacker would have to move a lot if he wished to use his sword hand." Oswin looked thoughtful.

"No kidding? Wow…" Matthew stopped for a moment to ponder it but Oswin's armor bumped into him and Matthew fell down the stairs. Everyone winced as they heard Matthew's screams and shouts of pain as he tumbled down the circular stairs.

"Ow! I'm okay, guys! Everything in my body hurts, though! Anyone of you got an Elixir?!"

"I've got one!" Hector pulled out a small leather canteen and tossed it down the stairs.

"Thanks Hector!" Matthew shouted his thanks when the elixir canteen thudded into his stomach. "OW! Dammit Hector!"

"Hehehe…Oops. Sorry 'bout that!" Hector and the rest of his motley crew finally reached the bottom of the staircase, where they met a very irate Matthew who was clutching his stomach.

"Stupid, idiotic morons who don't know how to hand over an elixir nicely…Ow…My poor stomach." Matthew groaned again as he walked back towards his place in the group.

"So…Lord Uther. What kind of things did you have in this dungeon?" Heath, who had finally woken up from being unconscious, looked at the lord of the castle.

"Well, I could tell you, but I think Hector can explain it better. He loved to study our dungeons."

"Well, okay. How about you, Hector?'

Hector grinned like a little kid. "Oh, we had so many cool things in here! There were the jail cells, the interrogation rooms, the detention center, the Pit, the execution chamber, the torture devices, and the booby traps!"

Dart spun to face Hector. "What was that last thing, matey?!"

Hector grinned sheepishly and scratched the side of his head. "Uh…Torture devices?"

"No, no matey. The one after that."

"Um…I don't remember saying anything after torture devices!"

"It was booby traps, wasn't it?" Merlinus quivered when he heard Dart say booby traps.

"Augh! Don't kill me! Take whatever you want!"

"Well, there's our brave merchant, Merlinus." Matthew looked dismally at the quivering figure on the ground. "So…I hope we didn't trigger any, did we?" As soon as he said that, a loud CLICK was heard. "Me and my big mouth."

Suddenly, spikes coated with blood popped out of the ceiling and walls.

"I remember this! We didn't want any of the prisoners to escape, so we put this device in! Hmm…In about a second, the walls should be closing around us." As soon as he finished his sentence, the walls moved in closer to crush them. "Yep, right on schedule. That was some really good architecture and machinery there." Lord Uther looked proudly at the walls, which were slowly moving closer.

"We're all going to die!" Everyone but Hector, Oswin, and Uther crowded in the center.

"Hah! Our armor will protect us! They can't crush this!"

"What about us?!" Merlinus's voice was almost a wail as he looked at Hector.

"Oh…Didn't think about that…Oh well. Sucks to be you!"

"HECTOR!" Matthew was going to throw a dagger at Hector's leg when he heard Legault yelling something behind him. He turned around and looked at Legault as if Legault had suddenly grown another head.

"3-PO! Where are you?! 3-PO! Come in, 3-PO! Come in! We need you, 3-PO!" Legault looked at everyone who was staring at him. "What?"

"Nevermind." Matthew sighed and looked on as the walls suddenly got closer and closer.

"Oh, okay then. 3-PO! Turn off the walls! 3-PO! We are in…Detention Block 4D! 3-PO!"

"Let's just ignore him and concentrate on our imminent deaths. We can only hope that the merciful St. Elimine will take pity upon our souls and rescue us from our plight." Matthew closed his eyes sand began to pray as the walls slowly moved closer. Everyone followed suit except for Legault, who was still shouting to 3-PO.

In another part of the dungeon, a secret panel in the ceiling opened and Canas plummeted through it. He landed on the floor with a thump and his monocle bounced off his face and landed nearby. "Oh dear…My monocle. I don't need it to see, but it completes my scholarly impression." He felt the ground with his hands and one of his hands brushed against a small button in the floor. He pressed it and was disappointed to find out that it wasn't his monocle. "Oh drat. I better search more, then."

Back to where, Hector and his group were, the walls suddenly stopped, and started moving back to their original positions. Everyone opened their eyes and cheered as they saw the wall moving away.

"We're alive!" Matthew celebrated his joy of living by pick pocketing Hector and stealing his cash.

"We're alive!" Hector, Oswin, and Uther celebrated by doing the Macarena. Don't ask. They were happy.

"We're alive!" Dart began singing sea shanties with Merlinus as they both did a little jig.

"We're alive! Thank god for 3-PO!" Legault jumped for joy and threw his eye patch in the air, revealing a perfectly good eye. "Oops."

"Legault…Why do you wear an eye patch when you don't need it?" Heath stared at Legault, who was chuckling embarrassedly.

"Um…Well, it just looked cool, okay?" Legault grinned and picked up his eye patch. "Even though I really don't need it for my Kakashi costume."

After the celebration, they all met up again. "So…Where do we go now?" Hector looked at the others.

"Well, just as long as we don't die, let's go searching for the ghost in the dungeon again!"

"Okay!" With that, Hector and his group headed off deeper into the dungeon, the first trap foiled. But who knows what other dangers and horrors lurk within the Ostian dungeons? And what about Raven's group? We have accounted for Canas, but what happened to the others? Where have they been transported in this crazy game of the ghosts?

"Geez, that was cheesy, Chris. You'll never be a good ending writer." Athos grumbled as Chris finished reciting the ending of a small story that he had written.

"Aw…You suck." Chris began erasing the draft and started to think of different ideas.

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Chris: No, that isn't the ending. Why? Because that's a cheesy, half-assed ending that sucks. But since this story is also entered in my club's reflection contest, that's going to be the ending for my entry. A really sucky ending. But this is not the ending for my story. No way. I still have too many things I want to put in it before I quit. So yeah.

Mia: Hmm…Since 1-800-REV-IEW! gave a Swedish number, what about 1-800-R&R-NOW! That works, I guess.


	7. What Goes Bump at Noon

Chris: Well, another day, another chapter for my Halloween fic! Aren't you guys happy?! Ahem…Anyway, reader reviews and…Yep. That's it. There's one announcement, but that's at the end. Thank you for your time.

**lugiamania:** Thanks a lot. Yep, Hector's really good with a canteen full of Elixir.

**The Winged Wolf:** You know…I think I'm going to stop offering phone numbers now…Apparently, if they're real ones, they call somewhere else…Anyway…Yeah, thanks for reviewing and I'm glad you like my fic.

**Charlie:** Yeah…Patric had better not ditch. Eh, oh well….And yeah, it's a half-assed ending on purpose, you know. I couldn't finish the whole story in like a week. Well, okay, I could, if I didn't need sleep.

**The Karlminion:** Actually…I don't know if it gave a Swedish number. It'd be cool though.

**Lord Cynic:** Yep, Star Wars is cool. I just hope the Star Wars III will be good. It better.

**Zero84:** Yep, Legault is Kakashi from Naruto. That's about the best idea I could come up with for him.

**Miharu-san:** Bwa. That's the ending for the reflections contest, not for the story. Bwa again. Anyway…Yeah, that's about it.

**K-Girl:** Of course you can be a monster. You can torment the evil people until they try to kill the good people again. Hmm…Yeah, you're just going to be a fangirl that torments everyone in the evil group. How about that?

**flamefirefox:** Glad you like it. And yeah, FE has been slowing a little…Not a lot, though, but a little.

**Ice born warrior:** Yep. I chose a random dance. And…You really don't like Eliwood, do you?

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During the journey of Hector and Raven and their respective groups, Eliwood and Co. were examining the back of the castle for clues. Eliwood stroked his chin thoughtfully and faced his comrades. "I've got it! Let's split up and look for more clues!"

Lucius sighed and stared at Eliwood. "We already split up…"

"Yeah, but we should split up more! Then we'll have more groups to search! Now…All we need is a faithful Great Dane."

"What? You want to make this into a remake of Scooby Doo?" Nils looked up from his pit trap to look skeptically at Eliwood.

"Yeah! It'd be like the Ghost at Briny Bay!"

"What the hell is that?!" Nils stood up, moved a little, and promptly fell into his own pit trap. "At least I know it works….Can anyone get me out?"

Nino hopped over and stretched her arm out to Nils. Nils grasped it and Nino helped haul him up. Nils grinned slightly. "Thanks Nino. Phew…Making a pitfall is tougher than I thought…" He brushed off the dirt and grime and stood up. Eliwood was still fanatical about making everything seem like Scooby Doo, even going as far as to try to shave Lucius's hair. Lucius was trying to avoid Eliwood and Renault and Jaffar were discussing the best ways to take cover in an attack. Wil was readying his bow, even though there wasn't an enemy in sight. Nils noticed that the bow was pointed at Rath's feet, and Wil was grinning. Rath was just looking nervous, especially since Wil was pointing a bow at him and Rebecca was alternating between hugging him and socking Wil.

Suddenly, the sky darkened and everyone heard a scream of terror. Everyone was shaking, except for Jaffar and Renault because…Well, that's them. The horrible scam echoed again and again, and this time, it sounded as if the person doing the creaming was coming closer and closer.

"W-What is that?!" Nino stood next to Nils, shaking a little and fingering her spell book.

"Heh! Don't worry about it!" Nils grinned and took out his flute, moving his hands over the delicate workmanship. Eliwood was stuttering, his teeth chattering in his head.

"I-I don't know what it is…But that conveniently placed puddle over there is rippling!" Eliwood shuddered as the puddle water rippled once again. The ground gave a fierce shudder and some of them were knocked off balance. Wil leaped forward and stopped Rebecca from falling while Nils grasped Nino's arm to make sure she wouldn't fall either.

The scream echoed again, and the ground gave another heavy rumble. The water in the puddle sloshed rapidly and some of it splattered on Renault's and Jaffar's cloaks. By now, almost everyone was scared out of their wits. Well, except Renault and Jaffar…again. They were just angry that there was water on their cloaks.

"N-Nils! I-I'm scared!" Nino continued to hold Nils's arm, shaking fiercely as she heard another scream. Nils was shaking himself, but he told himself to be brave so Nino wouldn't be as scared.

At the next scream, however, they noticed another voice in the background. It was female, loud, and extremely high-pitched. The members of Eliwood's group all looked at each other. They had just come to a conclusion when they spotted Erk running at high speeds towards them.

"Oh, Hey Erk. What's wrong?" Lucius raised his hand in greeting as Erk fled past him. Erk turned his head slightly as he continued running.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! SHE'S COMING!" With his warning given, Erk continued to dash off, heading for another part of the castle grounds, the forest. Everyone looked at his retreating figure when they heard the faint voice of the second figure. The voice screamed again, and its scream chilled thief blood.

"Oh my god! It's Serra! She's going to ask me for money!" Eliwood gripped his head and moaned.

"She's going to ask us to talk more and be friends with her!" Renault and Jaffar looked at each other, horrified.

"Argh! She's going to make us teach her how to use a bow!" Rebecca, Rath, and Wil tried to hide in some bushes nearby.

"She's going to tell me how she wants money and vassals! Not fair!" Nino moaned and held onto Nils tighter.

"She's going to try to trick me into being her vassal! I don't want to play music for her!" Nils sighed and patted Nino on the shoulder.

"She's going to ask me to be her boyfriend! NO!" Lucius screamed and after he was done, he noticed that everyone was staring at him. "What? It's true. I don't know how it happened…But it did. It's scary."

Everyone bowed their heads in solemn reverence to Lucius, who they all thought had it worst if Serra had ever caught them. Another yell from Serra brought them all back from their senses. Eliwood quickly took charge.

"Come on, my friends! Together, nothing can stop us from achieving victory!" Eliwood lifted his sword out of his scabbard and pointed it into the sky. Everyone cheered at his heroic speech when they saw…

"Erky! Stop running!" Serra was right in front of them, coming closer and closer. Eliwood shuddered at her shrill voice and quickly put his sword back in its sheath.

"Everyone! Retreat! Everyone man for himself!" With that, Eliwood, Jaffar, and Renault headed back for the castle, hoping that she wouldn't follow them inside.

"Hey! That's sexist!" Rebecca grimaced and was about to go after Eliwood when Wil and Rath pulled her towards the forest where Erk had run. It wasn't the smartest of decisions, but nobody thinks straight when there is a mad girl running towards them. Lucius, Nino, and Nils, who were acting more rationally than the others, headed in a different direction, quickly hiding within some trees and watching carefully.

"Wait up, Erk! I want to talk to you!" Serra came rushing into the clearing where Eliwood's group once was and continued into the forest. Lucius, Nino, and Nils let out sighs of relief as they saw Serra pass by them. They leaped out of their hiding spaces and looked around. They were the only ones left here, except for a woman with long-blond hair that was standing to the side.

"Whoa…I didn't see her before. Did you, Nino?" Nils looked at the figure and then back at Nino.

"Nope…She looks like Lucius. Is she your mother, Lucius?" Nino looked quizzically at Lucius. The unknown woman and Lucius looked very familiar. But she had this feeling that she had seen her before, somewhere, in her childhood.

"Sorry…My mother was killed…Long ago." Lucius looked sadly at the ground. But he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his robe and smiled. "But I must live with that…You're right though, Nino…That lady certainly does look like my mother…" Lucius stepped closer to the apparition. "Who are you, madam?"

Nils sniffed a little when he heard Lucius say that his mother was dead. He wasn't fond of hearing about people dying, especially when one of his friends was the one talking about it. He placed his arm around Nino, who was sobbing. "…Lucius…"

The woman turned at Lucius's voice. She had long, blond hair that flowed all the way to her waist. She was wearing a long, white dress similar to Serra's and had a long, white glove that she wore on her right arm. Around her neck was a long, purple scarf that fluttered, even though there was no wind. She smiled at Lucius.

"A monk of Light…I am glad that you have kept to my ideals, Lucius." The woman smiled at Lucius and she placed one of her hands on Lucius's shoulder. "Your caring nature is what led you to find one of the ghosts…I am one of them."

"Wha-What did you say, Madam?! You're a ghost?! But how can you touch me?" Lucius was shocked at this turn of events. This woman, who looked so much like his mother, was actually a ghost. He knew it was stupid, but in a small part of his heart, he believed that the ghost truly was his mother.

"Oh…Lucius…I can touch you because of your faith. I have been watching you from the heavens, young Lucius…And I believe that you alone can carry the burden that I had to during my life in this world." The woman smiled and placed her hand on his head. "Please…Take this book…In it, you will find everything you need to know…I will inform the others that I have been found. I wish you luck in finding the rest of us." The woman turned away from Lucius after giving him a leather-bound book and faced Nino and Nils.

"Ah…Nino. Another practitioner of magic. You will be strong, stronger than you've ever dreamed possible, young child. But you can only succeed if you keep trying, do you understand?"

"O-Of course. I unsderstand!" Nino nodded and smiled as the ghost stroked her hair a little. Next, the woman turned to Nils.

"And here…I see what things you have to go through, young child, and I hope you and your sister both succeed in your ideas. Now…To all of you. I bid you farewell." The woman smiled at them all and vanished in a brilliant flash of light.

Nino and Nils looked at each other. "Who was that woman?"

"I think I can answer that…" Lucius stared at the cover of the book, his voice solemn. "It is my belief that the ghost we encountered was none other than St. Elimine herself."

"What?!" The two children let out the cry at the same time. "But...Impossible!"

"It's very possible…And I also believe that the 6 ghosts we are hunting are none other than the 6 of the 8 generals from the Scouring." Lucius ran his hand over the cover of the book, smiling. "Yes…I believe this is true…Well, my children…We have completed our task at hand. Do you wish to go inside and take a look at this book she has handed us?" Lucius smiled at the two children, who nodded vigorously.

"Of course!" Smiling, Nils and Nino grasped hold of Lucius's hands and were leading him back towards to castle. As they entered, they saw Chris writing something in his notebook and Athos and Bramimond were busy drinking soda. They sat down next to them and were immediately engrossed in the book that St. Elimine had given Lucius. Their concentration attracted Chris, who put down his pencil and leaned over to see what they were reading.

As for Erk and Serra, well, they were heading for the forest, where Lyn and her group were searching for a ghost as well. If Lucius's hunch was right and the ghosts were just 6 of the 8 Generals, who would Lyn and her group face in the darkness of the forest? Lyn and her group didn't know, but as they continued searching, someone chuckled and watched them, wondering if these people would be able to find him as well as that monk was able to find Lucius.

Back in the castle, Athos grumbled as he read the end of Chris's next chapter in the story he was writing. Athos let out a huge sigh. 'His writing is never going to get better….His endings always suck.' He placed the notebook back and continued watching and drinking, hoping that his dear friend would be able to rest, now that her legacy had been completed.

---------------------------------------------------

Chris: Sorry for the shorter chapter, but, well...It's with individual groups now, because they're starting to find the ghost. And yes, I must agree. I change themes way too much. Well, that's what I do. I can't really combine humor, horror, and seriousness into one…So, they alternate quite a bit. Anyway…Announcement is this. If you think that my reader reviews are too bulky and get in the way of the real story, then just say so. Tell me if you want me to take them out forever, put them at the end, or any other suggestions. If I don't get enough or they aren't good enough, I'll just keep them there. Review if you wish, and suggestions would be appreciated.


	8. Do You Hear That?

Chris: OMG! I'm finally updating! Ahem. I think I've used that before…Tell me where and I'll give you a cyber-cookie. Anyway, I'm finally dispensing with the stupid notebook endings. I was bored and feeling crappy then. This time, hopefully, you guys'll get good ones. Reader reviews and on with the fic! Oh, and sorry if Guy sounds wimpy. He isn't. He's just really scared. Based off of his character, he really doesn't take terror and frightening stuff very well.

**Onionbreath002:** Wow! You actually signed in! And yeah, those endings sucked. Sorry about that. And…Near the end, it just changed…for some weird reason. Aliens are messing with my brain….Right.

**The Karlminion:** Okay. Well, I'll just do that then, and see what happens with that.

**Lord Cynic:** Hehehe….Well, I've decided to keep them. Cause they're cool. -shifty eyes- ….Real cool.

**Ice born warrior:** Well…technically, Bramimond mimics the personality of the person talking to him. So…Hmm…Yeah, how would you describe it? And Eliwood's mom is a bishop…Just because she is.

**The Winged Wolf:** Heh, okay. I'm not getting rid of them. And yeah, you can be in. Actually, you and K-Girl might get in this chapter. I know you're going to be in it. Cause this is the forest chapter. And Eliwood's Band. Heeheehee. And wow…That's quite a description. Is it okay if I use a character similar to yours in the original fic I'm writing?

**Mage obssessed: **Heh, okay, if you say so. And here's your update.

**montblancerk: **Um…Actually, I already put all of the pairings in…So no more pairings. Sorry.

**K-Girl: **Heh, okay. I'll keep that in mind…And…You're 15. I think…

**noble of spades (and person…Like…x 10): **Uh…Did you press the review button a little bit too much…Cause I've got like…10 reviews from you. And they're all repeats…Uh…huh.

-----------------------

**Chapter 8: Do You Hear That?**

Lyn and her group were busy searching through the forest when they heard a blood-curling scream. Ninian screamed in fright and jumped into Kent's arms, who stumbled and fell from the sudden weight. The Pegasus Sisters had all taken out their lances, although Florina was trembling a bit as she gripped the handle of her lance. Guy had taken out his sword already and was waving it around, the sword making little circles in the air. Lyn had her hand on the hilt, scanning the area to see if there was any danger. As for Sain…Well, he acted like he normally does. Which was take out an ornately decorated lance and start showing off to the various ladies around him.

The scream echoed again and now they heard someone crashing through the brush. They all gripped their weapons tighter, ready to impale any enemy that might come their way. Guy was sweating with terror and his sword kept shaking in his hands. When the person finally crashed through to where they were, he let out a terrified scream and swung his sword at the person's head. Which set off two things.

One was a loud "SHIT!" from Erk, who apparently was the person who was racing towards them. Luckily for him, and unluckily for any Erk haters, he ducked under the blade and avoided having his head cut off. The second thing that happened was sort of a chain reaction. Florina, who was already scared enough, finally reached the breaking point when Guy screamed, causing her to scream in terror. She raced over to Fiora and began shivering violently. But other than that, everyone managed to keep their cool. Kinda. Kent helped a shaken Ninian up and she wrapped Kent in a big hug. Lyn was busy looking at her vassal (Yes, I'm using vassal. Vassal is a cool word. Disgaea does that to you.) and nodding admiringly. She gave Kent a thumbs up before reaching down and pulling Erk from the ground. Kent blushed and watched as Ninian pulled herself closer to him.

Sain moaned as he realized it was Erk. He strapped the lance back on his horse and slumped on the side of it, wondering when some action would happen. He stared at the sun, which was beginning to dip low in the sky. Sain was about to go and continue searching when someone grabbed him by the arm and enfolded him in a hug. Nobody noticed he was missing though, since they were all preoccupied with Erk. Guy had fainted dead away after swinging his sword and was lying on the ground, his sword still clutched in his hands. Erk was busy hiding behind Florina, who was hiding behind Fiora, who gave a sigh and moved them away from her. Farina was silently laughing at their behavior, clutching at her stomach.

"Florina! You've got to help me! S-S-She's coming!" Erk held onto Florina. Most of her fear gone, she turned and looked at Erk.

"Coming? W-Who's coming, Erk?"

"S-S-S-S-S…" Erk tried to say the name, but couldn't say it due to his chattering teeth. Everyone looked at him, but he still couldn't manage to say the name.

"Well…It begins with a S. So…The only person we know whose name begins with S is….Either Sain or Serra. By the way, where is Sain?" Fiora looked around and noticed that the brown-haired cavalier had disappeared. Then, everyone else noticed that he was gone and their fear increased a bit. It didn't help whatsoever when Guy awoke, noticed that Sain was gone, and then shouted, "They took him! They're going to cut out his brain and turn him into one of their horrendous undead!" He promptly fainted again.

Muffled screaming sounded where Sain used to be. Lyn carefully crept forward and brushed aside a couple of bushes. Lying there was a frantically struggling Sain (who was gagged) and a silver-haired girl who appeared to be glomping Sain. Lyn pried them apart and ripped the gag from Sain's mouth.

"Geez Sain…I knew you liked girls…But you resort to that?"

Sain's face grew red. "It wasn't my idea! This girl just grabbed me, stuffed a gag in my mouth, and began hugging me! Come on! If I wanted a girlfriend, that's not how I would want her to act like."

Hearing this, the girl's blue eyes widened and tears began forming. Also, her lower lip began to tremble for good measure. Sain sighed and looked at the girl. The tears began falling from her eyes and she looked at Sain pleadingly. He sighed and brought the girl up close to him.

"Weeell….Fine…Sure. You can hang out with me…Just don't do…whatever you did last time, okay? And what's your name, my beautiful rosebud?" Sain ruffled the girl's hair, smiling at the headband she wore, which looked just like his own. Well, except for the embroidery.

"People just call me Wolfie." She smiled at Sain, who grinned.

"Eh, that's not a bad name. Kinda cute, like you." The girl smiled when she heard this and began hugging Sain again. Sain heard snickering, and he saw his partner laughing at him. "Kent! You never laugh!"

"What?! I'm not that serious!" Kent looked indignant. "I laugh!"

"Yeah, sure. Of course you do." Sain waved Kent's gaze off and looked at the girl who had seemingly come out of nowhere. She had on a blue tunic and a black skirt. Also, she wore a pearl necklace that had an ivory moon hanging from it. Sain ruffled the girl's hair again and sighed. She wasn't exactly what he was looking for in a girlfriend, but for now, she was pretty good. She certainly was pretty enough, Sain thought, as he gazed at her again.

"Oh Erky!"

"AH! It's her! S-S-S-Se-Se-Serra!" Erk trembled even more from behind Florina's back. Florina stared at him for a while before bringing her lance out again. Serra finally arrived, crashing through the bushes. She saw Erk hiding behind Florina and then she focused her glare on Florina. The pegasus knight trembled a bit, but remember that Erk was counting on her to protect him, so she steeled herself and faced Serra.

"Florina! Get away from my Erky!"

"B-But…Erk is my boyfriend…."

"WHAT?!" Serra glared daggers at Florina. She drew out a Shine tome. "I challenge you to a duel!"

"A-A duel?" Florina looked at Serra, who nodded triumphantly.

"Yeah, a duel! Whoever wins gets the darling Erky!"

"I'm not some prize to be won!" Erk stepped out from behind Florina, some of his courage regained. However, Sain pulled him aside.

"Hey, don't interfere! If they want to do this, they should do this. And besides, I want to see what happens." Sain stared at the two girls, who were getting ready to fight.

"Hmm…" Erk folded his arms. "Who do you think will win?"

"Let's see….Ah. I seem to remember a conversation from long, long ago."

-----------flashback thingie---------------

"Hey Sain. Who would win if Lyn and Priscilla got into a fight?" Nils walked up to Sain, who started drooling.

"We all would, my son. We all would." Sain grinned, envisioning the fight in his mind.

-----------end flashback thingie----------

"You're perverted, Sain." Erk turned away from the cavalier, disgust plain on his face. Wolfie noticed Sain's grinning and held him tighter.

"No looking at other girls. You're mine now."

"Aw…But…" Sain looked into the girl's eyes and relented. "Fine…I won't go girl watching anymore…The showers will be lonely without me." Pleased that she was able to stop Sain from staring at Serra and Florina, she continued to hold him, a big smile on her face.

"B-But…Serra. I'm a pegasus knight…I'm really good at resisting the effects of magic and dodging them. Are you sure this is such a great idea?"

"Of course it-" BAM! Serra toppled over as Wil, Rath, and Rebecca plowed into her. Rebecca, finally fed up with being dragged around like a doll socked Wil and Rath in the stomach before turning to face the others.

"Oh great. Even more people are here. Aren't you guys with Eliwood?" Lyn looked at Rebecca, who smiled sheepishly.

"Weeeell….We found our ghost. And I was fine, but these two **_idiots_** decided I wasn't and decided to drag me along." Rebecca pointed at Wil and Rath, who were lying next to an unconscious Serra, coughing and wheezing. She glared at them again.

"Ah…You guys can help us search, then. I'm sure the ghost is around here somewhere."

"No problem. Just as long as you two-" She pointed at Lowen and Wil. "don't act like idiots and decide to drag me off somewhere else! Got it?!" Lowen and Wil nodded quickly and started searching. Rebecca turned back to Lyn. "So, shouldn't there be more people searching?"

"Yeah, what're they doing?" Lyn turned to face the others and got her answer. Kent and Ninian were busy rocking each other back and forth, holding each other. Sain was busy smoothing Wolfie's hair and she was leaning against Sain, smiling happily. Erk and Florina were busy kissing each other, right in front of everyone else. Actually, the only person who was actually doing any searching was Fiora, and even she wasn't doing it that well. And as for Farina…Well, she was laughing for some incomprehensible reason.

"Nevermind. Come on, we'll find that ghost around here." Lyn and Rebecca started searching, and after a few glared at Wil and Lowen, they joined in as well. They didn't notice the shadow of another person forming over them. Lyn stopped as she realized that there was one extra shadow. She turned around and screamed…in laughter. The person who was behind him was one of the ghosts, but he looked so ridiculous with the various mismatching clothes that she couldn't help laughing. Actually, he looked more like a court jester than a hero. The ghost looked a little bit put off and glared at Lyn.

"Hmph. These clothes are stylish." Roland, the ghost they found in the forest turned, showing off the various colors of his outfit. Lyn was able to regain her laughter and straightened out her expression.

"Well, since we found you, we win! Take that!"

Roland folded his…ghost arms. "Nope. Since you laughed at me, you will require a challenge. I challenge you!" He pointed at Farina, who was still laughing. "The game will be…Poker! You and you!" He pointed at Wil and Lowen. "You two will also play. Now! Let the games begin!" A pack of cards materialized in his hands and he began dealing them out.

-----------

Geitz grunted as Eliwood's Band climbed up the staircase in one of the towers. They had journeyed for a long time, carrying their instruments in their hands. He was getting extremely angry at the various "Are we there yet?" questions. But finally, after an hour of climbing, they had reached the top of the tower. Geitz let out a long sigh of relief and placed his trombone case on the floor.

"We're finally here! So stuff it!" Geitz whirled around and pointed an accusing finger at Dorcas. Dorcas grinned as an apology and looked around. The members of Eliwood's band filed in at the top level of the tower and gasped as a ghost rose out to meet them.

"Oooooooh…" The ghost waved his hands around. "I am the ghost of Christmas Past! Whooooo…." The ghost had silver-white hair and had normal looking clothes on. Well, normal in the sense that he didn't look like a freak, idiot, or a mental case. Marcus waved a hand in front of the ghost. "What do you want, old man?!"

"Old?! Old?! I am not an old man! You're an old man! You're a ghost!"

"Why, I never!" The ghost folded his arms and sniffed.

"Ahem. Sorry for that outburst. But…Just one question. Why are you the ghost of Christmas Past?! It's Halloween!"

"Oh!" The ghost looked around. "Uh…Oooooh….I am the ghost of Halloween Past. Whoooooo…."

"That just pathetic." Bartre grumbled and glared at the ghost.

"Ooooh! Diss! You just got owned by Bartre! Diss!" Harken ran around the tower, shouting "Diss!" at random intervals.

"What's with him?" Geitz turned to Isadora, who sighed.

"Uh…He's been taking anti-depressants lately. I'm going to confiscate them soon."

"I see…" Geitz shook his head and faced the ghost. "Uh…No offense…But…I expected something more dangerous here. You know, like a dragon or something. Not a pathetic looking ghost who doesn't even know what time of the year it is."

"Hmph! You want danger? You've got it!" The ghost snapped his fingers and a dragon appeared in the tower. Harken stopped running around and very solemnly walked up to Geitz. He tapped him on the shoulder and Geitz turned to face him.

"You and your big mouth, Geitz."

-----

And…Back in the castle, Nergal's evil soldiers were still in the bathroom, slaughtering anyone who would dare come inside. One such guest entered the room, and when he saw all of the people there, he shouted, "CAMPERS!" before Linus stabbed him.

"Hmm…Not Eliwood either….This is stupid." Linus grumbled. There had been approximately 30 people that entered the bathroom and they had killed him all. They were running out of space to put the bodies.

"Hey, what did he mean by camper?" Lloyd looked at his brother, who shrugged.

"How would I know? He was probably just nuts." They set about trying to find a place to hide the body.

And outside, a young brown-haired girl was creeping around the castle, searching for a specific someone. And when she did find them, she would put him through the worst torture ever. She was….the fan-girl.

----

Chris: Uh….Don't ask about the ending. I…just thought it was amusing. Ahem. Aaanyway…Just to tell you, the ghost in the tower is Barigan (the Ilian hero). I had no idea what he looked like, so I just made him old looking. Also, since I don't know what he looks like, I just made him a guy. So yeah. And in the next chapter, you'll get to see the resolutions to the forest and tower scene and the dungeon scene with Hector and another ghost.

And just as a warning. If you get deeply offended of things that make fun of the Pope, then skip the Hector part. Cause…Yeah. If you're deeply religious, but you still want a bunch of laughs, read if you want. You can't sue me though, cause I gave ample warning.


	9. I am Scary! Whooooo!

Chris: You know the drill. Don't own Fire Emblem, like I'm sure you all know.

**K-Gforever:** Hehehe, well, congrats on getting your story out! And it's good you know who that brown-haired girl is. And…Roland's head sprite does make him look like a kid…He's got…Gray-blue hair. That's about all I know. Oh, and in my story, he's dressed as a jester. Sucks for him, huh?

**The Winged Wolf: **You know…The first time I read that, I actually thought you sent me a postcard…Yes, I'm very gullible. But still, I love the postcard and the stamp too. The Fire Emblem characters are cool, aren't they?

**ice born warrior: **Yeah…They must be doing something when they are traveling through Elibe. Taking anti-depressants is just one idea.

**Eris of Thane: **Yes! New person! Ahem, anyway, glad you like it. And Erk actually isn't going as Serra…He's going as Harry Potter. Of course, if I messed up that part, could you show me where it is? I'll need to change it.

**GRRR: **Well, you see…If you actually read the story well enough, and the story that was supposed to lead up to this one (Farina's Diary, but someone deleted it. Bastard.), you would know that the party occurs before Lord Uther's death. And also, if I didn't play Hector's Mode, do you think I would know about Farina? You know. Blue-haired pegasus knight? Asks for 20,000 gold? Likes money? Fiora and Florina are her sisters? That ring a bell? Also, in Hector's mode, you fight a guardian called Kaim? Has a tomahawk? Maybe that refreshes a couple of brain cells.

If you actually didn't type almost everything in caps, maybe I'd feel a little more respect for you…But I don't. Try better next time. I'm sure you can come up with something nicer than that.

Chris: Yeah…While my earlier plan involved the Pope…I kinda can't do it now since…You know, the Pope's dead. So…Uh…Different person I'll be mocking. I'm sure you'll still like it though. Unless you're Republican.

* * *

**Chapter 9: I am Scary! Whooooo!**

"Hah! I win!" Farina slammed down her cards, grinning wickedly. "Let's see there, Roland…Playing by your rules, a Royal Flush is twenty points, plus the fact that they are all spades…Adds another ten points. Well, looks like I am beating you, one-hundred to twenty. Remember, another ten points and I win! And you'll owe me a huge chunk of change."

"All luck!" Roland pouted, and then began dealing the cards out again. Wil and Lowen had already been out of the game a long time ago, and now were busy getting scolded by Rebecca. So now, the game was just one-on-one with Farina and Roland was getting the worst of it.

"Luck nothing! It's all about skill, and you don't have any!" Farina crowed as she showed Roland her cards again. "Look! Four of a kind! Eat that, Roland!"

"WHAT!" Roland threw his cards down in a rage, while Farina pranced around him, singing merrily. "That is not fair!"

"Listen Roland." Farina stopped dancing and kneeled at the hero. "I don't know how you played poker back then, but I don't think jokers were used in poker then, and they definitely aren't used now." She winked. "Better get used to the rules if you're gonna play!" Farina started dancing again, but then stopped. "You _have_ played poker before, right?"

The ghost shrugged. "It's actually my first time. I heard about it from Barigan and thought I'd give it a try."

Farina slapped her head and sighed. "Whatever. We've beaten you. So go…Uh…Disappear or something."

"Gawd, you guys suck." Roland muttered sullenly to himself, before vanishing.

"Well, that's that!" Farina clapped her hands and turned to face the others. Once again, the pegasus knight sighed when she saw what everyone else was doing. Apparently, Sain and his new girlfriend were still making out. Actually, no one really paid attention to her while she was busy kicking Roland's ass at cards. "Nevermind….Let's just go back and drink until we pass out. Then we can say this was all just a bad dream and laugh about it later."

"Booze! I'm there!" Wil leaped up, and soon everyone was rushing towards the castle so they wouldn't get left behind.

"Just great…" Farina sighed again and followed the others, shaking her head. "At least I got this money from Roland…" She tosses her coin pouch, and found that it was strangely light. She opened it, and bit back a heavy curse. "DAMN GHOSTS! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"

* * *

Inside the tower, Eliwood's Band was busy fighting against the dragon. Geitz swung his axe against the dragon's leg, and his axe lodged inside. "Yes! I'm so good! Go Geitz, go Geitz!" Then he noticed that the dragon wasn't bleeding. Geitz pulled his axe out. "HEY! This thing is made out of wood!" 

Everyone stopped fighting, and stared at the dragon. "Wait…You mean we've been fighting against a wooden statue?" Marcus walked up and tapped it with his lance. The paladin was disheartened to see that it really was just a wooden dragon that could breathe fire. "This sucks."

Suddenly, the dragon disappeared in a puff of smoke, and Barigan was back, laughing at Eliwood's Band. "I can't believe you guys were losing to a wooden statue! You guys must really suck!"

"No we don't! You just…Uh…Got lucky!"

"Yeah right! HAHAHAHAHA! And I thought Roland was stupid!" Barigan's ghost was clutching his stomach. "This is too funny! Fine, fine! I've been found! This whole thing has been worth it!" The ghost disappeared, and the people in the tower could hear his wheezing laughter in the air.

"Damn ghosts..." Marcus scuffed his boots on the floor. "Come on! Next thing you know, Eliwood will want us to play a victory song. At least we can gouge more expenses out of them to pay for our new instruments."

With that, Eliwood's Band shuffled disconsolately down from the tower, only heartened by the fact that they found and defeated the ghost.

"HAH! Defeated! They probably couldn't defeat a soldier! Weaklings. Why, in my day…"

That's enough commentary, Barigan. Anyway, Eliwood's Band returned back to the main part of the castle, where they saw everyone drinking and generally doing what people do in a party. So they threw their instrument cases to the side and began drinking as well. So, everyone was happy.

Not Hector, however. No….He had to get stuck in a dungeon that was underneath the castle, and was currently searching for a ghost. He could have been drinking, or dancing with Farina. But noooo…He had to be searching for a stupid ghost. And it was bad enough that Matthew had thrown a canteen full of Elixir on his stomach.

'Noooo…Life just has to get better.' Hector grimaced as he walked through the passageways in the dungeon. At the last count, they had triggered five pit traps, two spike pits, three alligator moats, and another three of those "Spikes from the wall! Oh shit!" traps. Strangely enough, however, just when it looked like they would die, some sort of rescue device would pop in out of nowhere. So far, not one of them had died yet. Although Merlinus did get a haircut and there were some close calls (which involved people trying to push others in the alligator moats), everyone was relatively unscathed.

"I bet you're thinking about Farina, aren't you?" Matthew leaned it, grinning impishly.

"Holy damn!" Hector jumped, and then spun angrily at the thief. "Dammit, Matthew! How many times have I told you not to do that when I was thinking!"

"Why, just a couple of times, milord."

"Grrr…"

"I'm just sure you were thinking of fooling around with her…You know, in the-" Right when Matthew was going to finish his completely inappropriate comment, a red-haired person fell on his head, crushing him.

"RAVEN! What are you doing here?" Hector and the others looked astounded as they saw the red-haired swordsman wipe the dust off of his body. He calmly walked off of Matthew.

"Does it look like I want to be here? I fell down a stupid trap door." Raven glared at Hector, who glared back.

"Ow….F-" Once again, right before Matthew was about to finish his second inappropriate comment, another person fell on him, this time, a red-haired girl. Matthew just gave up trying to stay conscious, and collapsed.

"Oh my god! Matthew, are you okay?" Priscilla leapt off the thief quickly, and began shaking him.

"Great…More things to bother us." Hector sighed, and then got creamed in the head by another falling person.

"Crap!" Nils leapt off Hector's head. "Stupid floor! Did you put trap panels on the dance floor, or something?"

"Yeah, our architect said it would be a good idea." Lord Uther scratched his chin. "Apparently, he was wrong."

"Damn straight!" Nils grumbled angrily. "Whatever. What are you guys doing right now?"

"Trying to find that stupid ghost that haunts the basement." Hector sighed. "Legault, give me a status report."

"Yes, sir!" Legault mock saluted. "Let's see…At the moment, Matthew is currently unconscious, and being shaken by Priscilla. Raven has his infamous death glare on you, and Merlinus is whimpering like a little baby….Wimpy merchant. Anyway, you're listening to my status report, Lord Uther is looking for any more booby traps, Dart is gouging his initials into the wall, Oswin is…asleep, I think. And Nils is playing a very annoying song at the moment, and Heath is trying to stop me from hitting on him."

"WHAT?" Hector looked at Legault, who grinned.

"Just kidding! He's over there, sharpening his lance." Legault pointed at Heath, who was polishing the iron tip.

"What?" Heath looked up.

"Nothing…" Hector sighed again. He had been doing a lot of sighing lately. He wondered why. "Anyway, where's this damn ghost we have to find?"

"I'm right here!" The ghost suddenly popped in front of Hector, causing him to stumble backwards into Legault, who jumped out of the way and landed on Raven. Raven proceeded to punch Legault in the stomach and launch him towards Oswin, who rumbled and woke up. Legault bounced off Oswin's armor, and collided with Lord Uther, who backed into Dart while he was carving his name. Dart "arrred" for a while, before gouging a deep mark in the wall. The stone chips that flew from the gouge hit a cowering Merlinus on the face, and he fell, and his head landed on Nils' foot. Nils hopped backwards, clutching his foot in agony, and coincidentally, landing on Heath's foot. Heath leaped up, his spear poking Matthew on the back. Matthew sat up, screaming in pain, and kissed Priscilla when his face collided with hers. And then Raven punched Matthew.

All in all, a perfect entrance.

"MWAHAHAHAHA! You see me now!" The ghost rumbled. "I am Durban, and I have dressed up as the scariest person on the Earth!"

"W-Who's that?" Merlinus looked up, still blubbering.

"GEORGE W. BUSH!"

The whole party let out a terrified scream.

"He's going to swamp us in tax reform!" Hector cried out in fear.

"He's going to nuke us!"

"He's going to invoke the Patriot Act on us!"

"He's not going to leave me behind!" Nils screamed, moaning.

"Not only that! Furthermore, all yaoi and yuri pairings are forbidden!" Durban pulled out a sheet of paper, which had the proclamation written on it. From every corner in the world, various fangirls and fanboys screamed out in terror and despair.

"SUFFER IN MY LEADERSHIP!" Durban let out a deep, booming laugh. "I SHALL NEVER LEAVE YOU PEOPLE BEHIND!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"Wait! I've got a plan!" Merlinus stood up, looking marginally brave. He suddenly pulled out a bunch of books from behind him. "Take this!" He threw one at Durban's head.

"NOOOO! Intelligence! The only thing I don't have control of!" Durban let out a terrified yell, way too absorbed in his acting of George W. Bush.

"Good work, Merlinus!" Hector smiled, and grabbed another book. "Take this, super fiend!" The blue-haired lord threw it at the ghost's head.

"Ow! MATH EQUATIONS!"

"My turn!" Raven grabbed another book at and threw it at Durban.

"THE LAWS OF PHYSICS! THE PAIN!"

"This seems fun!" Legault grinned and took another thick book. He chucked it at the ghost's head, along with Matthew, who had sufficiently recovered.

"GREAT WORKS OF LITERATURE! QUOTES FROM VARIOUS POETS THAT I DON'T KNOW!" Durban screamed in agony.

"Take this!" Nils grabbed another one, and threw it.

"WORDS I CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE!"

"Hey, let me see that." Priscilla walked over and picked up the book Nils threw. "Dr. Seuss's Cat in the Hat….I am very ashamed."

"ARGH! TOO MUCH INTELLIGENCE!" Durban clutched his head painfully. "NOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo!" Durban quickly faded away. "I'll get you back for this! Remember...I will never leave you behind!"

"We did it!" Hector cheered, and they all walked back towards the main party hall, overjoyed at the fact that they had defeated the dastardly George W. Bush. Or at least someone who wanted to act like him. And succeeded all too well. But then, Nils felt something prickly on his neck. He scratched at it, but it wouldn't go away. He turned, and spotted Durban hovering behind him, with a smile on his face.

"I told you I wouldn't leave you behind. MwahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Umm? Guys? Can you help?" Canas looked outside of the jail cell that he was trapped in. "Anyone? Please?" But of course, no one heard him. So Canas was lonely, and stuck in his little cell with only his monocle to keep him company.

* * *

"Oh man! I am totally bombed, dude!" Eliwood let out a loud giggle and promptly fell off the chair he was sitting on. The author would have added properly slurred speech, but the author had never been totally bombed before, so he wouldn't know. Athos looked down at the lord. 

"How many drinks did you have?"

"Just ten!" Eliwood held up three fingers, let out a drunken giggle, and started hiccupping. "Not more than twenty!"

"I think you should go to the bathroom Eliwood."

"Good idea, Santa Claus!" Eliwood tried to stand up, failed, tried again, and failed again. "It looks like the ground doesn't want me to leave! Stupid ground!" Eliwood struggled to stand up, and this time he succeeded, and wobbled towards the bathroom. Along the way, he met a very sullen looking man with a turban, two brothers, and a couple of other people he didn't recognize. "HEY NERGAL! STILL MISSING YOUR CEREAL?" (A.N.: You'll only get this if you read Fire Emblem: The Mole, which was another one of my script stories that got deleted.)

"Grr…Damn Lord Elbert." Nergal clenched his fist angrily.

"Um…Nergal? That's Eliwood." Lloyd tapped the Dark Druid on the shoulder.

"Ah! So it is!" Nergal brightened, and then pulled out a brown canvas sack. "Hey Eliwood! Would you like the see what's inside the Amazing Sack of Wonderment? That's what this is!"

"WOW! It's so amazing!" Eliwood obligingly climbed inside, because, you know, he's drunk. Drunk people do stupid things. Don't drink and drive, kiddies. "It's so colorful in the Sack of Wonderment!"

Nergal quickly tied the sack. "Sonia? Did you color the sack when I told you not to?"

"Not me."

"Limstella?"

"No."

"Lloyd?"

"Yeah right. Like I'd waste time doing that."

"Jerme?"

"Coloring does not include slicing to bits."

"Kenneth?"

"Wha?"

"Nevermind. Linus?"

"I was dead for a couple of weeks, moron."

"Right. He really must be drunk." Nergal gave the sack a little shake, and heard Eliwood giggling inside. "Come on, let's go." They all filed out of the castle, careful to avoid the guard, who was busy playing with Sonia's stuffed raccoon.

Of course, they failed to notice that one of their number was missing. That person was Lloyd, and he was the first victim of…the fangirl.

"GAH! GET OFFA ME, YOU FREAK!"

"But you're so cute! And handsome!"

"I DON'T CARE! DAMN IT ALL! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! Except for my good looks! BUT EVERYTHING ELSE CAN JUST DIE!"

* * *

Chris: Well, after three long, hard months, I finally updated! Praise me! And review too. 


	10. It Tastes Like Burning!

Chris: Double digits for my chapter count! YES!

Rebecca: That took you long enough.

Farina: Yeah. Around ten months.

Chris: At least I did it. That's all that matters.

**Lord of swords and waffles: **Yep! The Amazing Sack of Wonderment amazes and…wonderments you! And glad you like it.

**K-Gforever: **Glad you like your kidnapping. And thanks for reminding me. I almost forgot.

**Snowyiji: **Eh…He's a century old dragon. I'm sure he's learned some cuss words that even Hector doesn't know. And I'm sure Canas will get out. Someday.

**The Karlminion: **Thanks for the praises and the reviewses. And as for the hold up…I was lazy. It's the truth.

**AppleBerry: **Wow…A lot of people are anti-Bush. It's a good thing I am too, or else I might get offended at what I'm writing. Glad you liked it.

**Kiyoko-chan: **Stupid hackers. Hackers are eeeevil. And I'm glad to see that you're anti-Bush. Everyone should be. There should be a religion called Antibushism. Yeah. And don't worry, I'm sure Bush wouldn't do that. I mean, all of those yaoi and yuri fans will flood his e-mail with hate mail.

**I DARE NOT PRAISE AT ALL: **Thank you for…whatever that is.

Farina: You're thanking a guy who apparently…is flaming you, I believe.

But he went through the trouble of writing a song for me! Even though it's not a really good one…But still! He could have just said, "YOU SUCK!" but he actually put effort into it. I'm touched.

Farina: You're crazy.

**Lack Thereof: **I appreciate your compliments and I'm glad you like my stuff. Makes a person feel on Cloud Nine. Kinda.

**The Winged Wolf: **Hehe, hope you don't die or anything. Thanks for the compliments, and I'm glad you like the part where you were making out with Sain. Yep, lucky ol' Sain.

* * *

**Chapter 10: It Tastes Like Burning!**

"Karla, are you sure there's a ghost here? I want to fight something!" Vaida grasped her spear. "Walking in the dark is not my idea of fun."

"Be quiet, Vaida." Karla pointed a torch near the corners of the boiler room. "Just a question. Why does a castle have a boiler room? Pent? Pent? What the hell are you doing?"

The sage in question was using fireballs to incinerate the arrows that Louise was shooting at him. "Just practicing my accuracy!"

"Doesn't it concern you that those arrows are sharp? And the fact that if you miss, chances are that we'll get blown up?" Karla looked skeptically at the sage, who was grinning cheerfully.

"Don't worry! I won't get hit!" Pent turned to face Karla and was promptly hit in the arm with an arrow. "OW!"

"Oops! Sorry, darling!" Louise shouldered her bow and ran up to her husband. "Let me make it all better." The two of them promptly starting kissing, completely ignoring the fact that there was an arrow lodged in Pent's shoulder.

"Let's just leave them alone…" Queen Eleanora looked at the two of them. "I'm just glad my darling Eliwood isn't here to see this."

'_If only you knew that your darling Eliwood has done even more than that.'_ Karla shook her head and continued searching in the dark boiler room.

"You know what? I'm tired of hiding. Did you know how hard it is to keep silent when people are acting like idiots? And it's even worse when the idiots are standing right in front of you!" A ghost dressed in dark colors popped out in front of Karla. "I don't know why I went with this plan anyway."

"Uh…Who are you?" Karla pointed at the ghost, who hmped.

"I'm Hartmut, moron!"

"Hartmut was a goth, impatient, disagreeable warrior?" Karla turned to Vaida, who shrugged.

"I never paid attention in class. I don't know. It sure is an eye-opener." Vaida blinked.

"Hey, I'm just trying to be a non-conformist! Do you _know _how many heroes are portrayed as knights in shining armor? I just wanted to be different!" Hartmut protested, opening his arms wide.

"Being different is so common that it's not different anymore." Karla frowned at Hartmut, who scratched his head.

"So…If I get what you're saying…If you're trying to be a non-conformist, you're conforming to the non-conformist way of life?"

"Yeah."

"…MY HEAD HURTS!" Hartmut yelled angrily and disappeared.

"I don't think that was supposed to happen." Vaida turned to Karla, who shrugged and turned to Eleanora.

"Ooooh…I hope my dear Eliwood doesn't end up like that. He's such a sweet child."

"Which explains why you grounded him." Karla cocked an eye at Eleanora, who wasn't paying attention to her.

"My darling Eliwood…He's so naïve…So gentle." Eleanora continued…talking about Eliwood's traits.

"My lady! Your knight-in-shining-armor Hartmut is here to save the day!" Hartmut burst into vision again, riding a ghost horse and wearing shining armor that nearly blinded everyone there. Except for Pent and Louise. Because…Well…You know what they were doing. No need to go into further detail.

Karla and Vaida took one look at the new Hartmut before collapsing on the floor, laughing loudly. Eleanora could only stare at the ghost, stuck between laughing and beating the ectoplasm out of the warrior. Hartmut looked slightly put off by this reaction. Hm…Better make that, _extremely_ put off.

"Hmph. You people are jerks. To think that I helped save the continent so people like you could live on it. I am ashamed." Hartmut shook his head. "I call a curse on all of your heads! You will all be allergic to pie for hereafter!"

"Nooooo-Wait! You can't curse people! You're a hero. Under the strict implications of being a hero, Section 11-C, which says that heroes are not allowed to curse people, whether the hero is dead or not." Pent pulled out a small handbook from his robes and read from the passage.

"Curse you!"

Pent waggled at finger at Hartmut." Nuh uh. Can't curse us."

"Fine!" Hartmut disappeared with a puff of smoke. Everyone blinked their eyes and looked around.

Vaida shrugged. "I guess that's it then."

"Boy, this was really boring." Karla said and everyone nodded in agreement. That is, until a large figure crashed through the ceiling and landed on the floor next to the boiler room. "Bartre?" Her eyes widened.

"Ooog…Bartre's head hurts." The thick-headed warrior slowly staggered upwards, shaking his head dazedly. He blinked his eyes once, twice, three times, four times, five times, six-Eleanora whacked him on the head.

"You must be a bad influence on my son, blinking like that! Really!" Eleanora hmphed. Bartre just stared at her blankly.

"What am I doing here?" The warrior looked around.

"You fell through the floor." Karla pointed out, and Bartre's eyes widened.

"Really?" He looked up at the gaping hole and quickly got pelted in the eye with a piece of falling debris. "I'm blind! I have been struck blind!"

"You have not." Karla grimaced and waved the others away. "You guys can go back to the party. I'll stay and take care of this idiot." The others shrugged and walked up the stairs that led back to the main hall of Castle Ostia.

After a couple of seconds, Karla finished restoring Bartre's sight. The warrior let out a big gasp of joy.

"I can see! I can see clearly now, the rain has gone!" Bartre broke into song.

"Stop singing before I put that stuff back." Karla glared at the warrior, since Bartre's singing was very bad. Very bad.

"Hah! You expect to stop the great Bartre!" Bartre put his hands on his hips, roaring out with booming laughter.

"Yes." Karla said simply as she drove her fist into Bartre's stomach. The warrior collapsed onto the floor with a groan and came face to face with a sizzling electric wire.

"I wonder what electricity tastes like." Bartre said, and licked the sparking wire. What happened next is too flashy (Hahahah! Bad pun!) to explain, but let's just say that Bartre had quite the interesting experience. Afterwards, he was lying on the floor, groaning and showing off the newest style of spiked hair. Karla stared at the warrior.

"Hey…What _did_ electricity taste like?"

"It tastes like burning!" Bartre roared and pushed himself off of the stone floor.

"I…uh…see…" Karla shrugged and helped Bartre stand. "Come on, let's get back. No doubt there's a nice fire you want to eat."

"I wonder what fire tastes like…" Bartre said.

Karla gave a sigh and shook her head sadly. "Come on, you big lummox." She slowly helped the warrior get back to the main hall of Ostia Castle.

_---_

Raven was burning too, but with the fires of righteous indignation! Bwahahahaha! Okay, I'll stop. Anyway, the red-haired mercenary was stalking towards the cabin that housed the last ghost. Why, you may ask? Well, because Raven had the single-minded intention of strangling the ghost with his bare hands. Nevermind that it's a _ghost_ and you can't harm ghosts. Or the fact that Raven would probably fall down a trap door. Oh no, Raven wouldn't do that. He had enlisted…special help.

When he reached the cabin, Raven kicked down the door. "Ghost! Come out, come out! Raven's got a nice can of whoop ass just for you!"

"Hee hee! Can you get past my sneaky, sneaky traps?" A woman's voice echoed through the empty cabin.

"I don't have to! Come on, Luigi!" Raven called to a person behind him.

Luigi, all equipped with his super vacuum and flashlight, began trying to suck the ghost inside. However, since this was _Fire Emblem_ and not Luigi's Mansion, Luigi failed.

"Mamma mia. Wait…My brother says that…Oowooooh…." Luigi slumped to the ground, moping.

"Dammit!" Raven cursed and turned behind again. "Okay! Ghostbusters!"

And the Ghostbusters came out. Except their theme song got on Raven's nerves and they kept doing weird dance moves. So he fired them. (A/N: If you like the Ghostbusters, oops. I don't remember anything about them.)

"Looks like you failed!" The woman ghost cackled madly.

"Oh yeah? I brought the best weapon of all! No girl can resist the power of Sephiroth's bishounen powers!" Raven crowed in triumph and summoned Sephiroth. The ghost, who had to be Hanon, gave a squeal of joy and began ogling Sephiroth.

"What am I doing here?"

"Nothing. Now just stand stuff." Raven muttered and began trying to stab the ghost. Once again, since it was a ghost and all, he failed miserably. Finally, Raven gave up and sprinkled fresh spring water on the ghost.

"What the hell are you doing?" Hanon shrieked. "Now my hair's all wet! Hmph! I'm going, you jackass! I hope you're happy!"

"Uh…Yes, yes I am." Raven nodded.

"Can I go now?" Sephiroth asked.

"Yes. Leave. Before I try to kill you also. I'm a better bishounen than you are." Raven smirked. "I'm so deep."

"Hmph." Sephiroth folded his arms and disappeared.

­_---_

"Are you sure this is Eliwood?" Linus asked Nergal as they carried the Amazing Sack of Wonderment to their wagon.

"Yes, I am positive!" Nergal grumbled angrily. "Just because he's acting weird doesn't mean anything!"

"But he's singing '100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall' and it's driving me insane!" Linus complained. "Isn't that right, Lloyd?" There was no answer. "Lloyd?"

"Where's Lloyd? He was so handsome and brave and…and…cute!" Ursula wailed.

"What about me?" Linus said, insulted.

"Oh, you're normal. I don't care about you." Ursula yawned.

"Well! That certainly was rude!" Linus huffed and continued lugging the Amazing Sack of Wonderment.

"76 bottles of beer on the wall! 76 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, 75 bottles of beer on the wall!" Eliwood sang from inside the sack.

"Shut up!" Linus smacked Eliwood, but the lord only gave a drunken giggle and continued to sing. Because of this, nobody noticed the second victim. Of course, they wouldn't have missed him anyway. I mean, the guy never talked much anyway.

"YAY! I GOT JAFFAR!" The brown-haired girl hugged the silent assassin. "I'M SO HAPPY!"

"Hey! What about me?" Lloyd yelled from his corner of the secret lair of the fangirl. He was tied up and he struggled against his bonds.

"You're cute, but you're not even close to my darling Jaffar. He's just so….Jaffar-like!" The girl squealed again, hugging her prize.

"…" Jaffar didn't say anything, but you could tell he wanted to escape. I mean, seriously. You could just tell. Yeah. Seriously. You could tell. Yeah. Really. I mean, he wanted to escape. Wouldn't you? Hah! Can't beat that argument!

* * *

Chris: I am truly sorry is this chapter sucks complete ass as well as it being late by a couple of months. I've…just lost motivation for really updating this, actually. I'll try to finish it (luckily I only have like…3 more chapters), but at the moment, I'm more caught up with my other fics. And I still have to finish War of Immortals. Ohhhh well.

Review please, if you still remember this thing!


	11. The Ghosts' Treasure

Chris: Yes, I'm updating this story yet again. Why? So I don't lose the small speck of inspiration and motivation that I have left for this fic. It's really freaking old. And I want to finish it so I put out another story. Okay? So, thanks to all who've stayed with it, and if you haven't, can't blame you.

**K-Gforever: **Glad you like it!

**The Karlminion: **Yes…Yes, I was late. I am so ashamed.

Farina: You are not.

Exactly. And I will finish it! At least within this month or something.

**RubyVulpix: **Ah…Well, when I first wrote this, the Incredibles wasn't out yet….so yeah. Thanks for the compliments.

**Lack Thereof: **Really glad you like it and stuff! Oh, and just so you know, the story occurs on Halloween Day. So technically, it's already Halloween. Sorry 'bout that.

**clepto thief: **Well, glad you like it. And you'll find out what fire tastes like.

Disclaimer: Don't own Fire Emblem or the tune to Y-M-C-A.

* * *

**Chapter 11: The Ghosts' Treasure**

"Since we found all of you ghosts, you'd better give me the reward you promised!" Hector pointed to the six ghosts, who smiled at each other. The ghosts nodded and pulled out various instruments.

Roland, complete in his jester outfit, pulled a ghost microphone in the air. He looked back at the others. "Okay guys! We have it all set, right?"

"Yes, Roland!" The ghosts replied, readying their instruments.

Roland snapped his fingers. "Ready? Hit it!" He began to sing.

(Sung to Y-M-C-A)

Hector! You're a big, lazy oaf!  
I said, Hector! All you do is loaf!  
I said, Hector! You're a big, giant lump!  
Because you're! From! Os-ti-a-a!

Hector! You are so-o-o strong!  
I said, Hector! You are always wrong!  
I said, Hector! You lift things with your thumb!  
Every one knows that you are dumb!

It's great to sta-ay in Os-tiii-aaaa!  
It's great to sta-ay in Os-tiii-aaaa!

They have soldiers galore! You can kill them and more!  
You can drink booze and liquor!

It's great to sta-ay in Os-tiii-aaaa!  
It's great to sta-ay in Os-tiii-aaaa!

You can duel till you're dead, make them all bleed red!  
And then collapse when you're fed!

Hector! Are you listenin' to us?  
I said, Hector! Better get on the bus!  
I said, Hector! Listen to us now!  
Because you're a big ass and how!

Hector! He's the best by himself!  
I said, Hector! Don't stick him with the elf!  
And just do it! Just put him up front!  
And give him his lunch galore!

It's great to sta-ay in Os-tiii-aaaa!  
It's great to sta-ay in Os-tiii-aaaa!

They have soldiers galore! You can kill them and more!  
You can drink booze and liquor!

It's great to sta-ay in Os-tiii-aaaa!  
It's great to sta-ay in Os-tiii-aaaa!

You can duel till you're dead, make them all bleed red!  
And then collapse when you're fed!

Hector! I was once in your shoes!  
I said, Hector! You gave me the big blues!  
You fought always, and it was all for naught  
But in the end, you just got caught!

Last week, you sneezed into the air  
Yesterday you, sneezed into his hair  
And today you, sneezed right into your cake  
Oh, was I glad that I was late

It's great to sta-ay in Os-tiii-aaaa!  
It's great to sta-ay in Os-tiii-aaaa!

They have soldiers galore! You can kill them and more!  
You can drink booze and liquor!

Os-tiii-aaaa! It's great to sta-ay in Os-tiii-aaaa!

Hector, Hector! We're almost done with this!  
Hector, Hector! You'd better appreciate this!

Os-tiii-aaaa! And of course, go to Os-tiii-aaaa!

Hector, Hector! We're gonna disappear!  
Hector, Hector! We're gonna drink all your beer!

And then the ghosts suddenly disappeared, taking a couple of crates of beer with them. Everyone else just stood, spellbound by the song that was both hilarious and very insulting to the people of Ostia. And this is exactly how people reacted.

The people from Ostia, read: Hector, Matthew, Uther, Oswin, and Serra, were very insulted and muttered dire threats and huffs of anger. Everyone else collapsed on the floor and laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. This, of course, was very upsetting to the Ostians, who only grew more and more upset as the laughing continued. However, everyone was finally able to get their laughter under control and except for a couple of loose giggles and chuckles, everything was fine.

And then someone knocked on the castle's front door. Hector, Matthew, and Guy decided to open it. Outside stood an angry Nergal and other various Black Fang Members. You know who they are.

"What the hell are you guys doing here? I thought it plainly said on my invitations, 'No madmen, psycho killers, or overall evil guys allowed!'" Hector said.

"No wonder I wasn't invited!" Nergal snapped his fingers ruefully, accidentally killing one of his soldiers with a Flux spell. "Oops. Anyway, we came to return this crap-ass imposter of Eliwood." He motioned to Linus, who pulled out the Amazing Sack of Wonderment and dumped out the thoroughly bombed Eliwood at Hector's feet. "Enjoy. Now Linus, let's go. Linus?" Nergal looked around and the blond-haired hero was gone. Shrugging, Nergal left with the other members of the Black Fang.

"Well…That's just great. We're stuck with a drunk Eliwood." Hector looked mournfully at the body at his feet. "This totally sucks."

"Hey, that isn't my darling son, is it?" Eleanora appeared behind Hector, her eyes wide with worry. "If it was, I wouldn't know what I would do!"

"Oh…Uh…Of course not! It's just a….imposter that we hired to take the place of Eliwood! Yeah! Just in case he got kidnapped or something!" Hector smiled nervously and picked up Eliwood. "Looks just like your son, huh?"

"Yes, he looks just like my Eliwood!" Eleanora gasped and put a hand to her mouth. Which is when the inevitable happened.

Eliwood opened a bleary eye. "HEY MOM!" And then he passed out. Hector gave a groan and punched the unconscious Eliwood in the stomach.

"You idiot! God dammit!" Hector cursed.

"ELIWOOD!" Eleanora raged. "Wake up right now, young man!" When Eliwood obviously _didn't_ wake up, he made his poor mother even angrier. Angry enough to spin Eliwood around her head and throw the unconscious lord against a tree, which finally woke him up.

"Whoa…Remind me to never, ever, get Eleanora angry." Hector stared, wide-eyed.

"I completely agree. And if I ever _do_ get in trouble with her…Guy, you'll have one less favor to do for me." Matthew mumbled.

"What? That's not fair! That's like sentencing a man to death!" Guy pleaded his case in front of Matthew, but the thief was unmoved.

"Eliwood! How dare you get drunk and go gallivanting with your friends!" Eleanora shouted, pointing at the distant figures of Nergal and the Black Fang.

"Um…Lady Eleanora…" Hector ventured a weak protest, but it would seem that no one would be free of Eleanora's wrath.

"And you!" The purple-haired queen whirled on Hector and reduced the strong-willed lord into a shaking pile of flesh. "You probably influenced my darling Eliwood with your drinking and partying! You should be ashamed of yourself!" The next target was Matthew. "Thieves are the scum of this land! You made my innocent Eliwood into the monster he is today!" And finally, Guy. "And your dorkiness probably rubbed off on Eliwood, reducing him into this…this _thing!_ It's all your fault!"

"Wha?" Hector, Matthew, and Guy stared, dumbfounded as Eleanora continued venting her rage on them. Luckily for Eliwood, this distraction was all he needed in order to escape and run to the loving arms of Fiora, where he started crying and angsting about how his parents were so cruel to him.

"Yo! What's up?" The tactician, Chris if you've forgotten, walked up to them. "Oh, hi Lady Eleanora!"

"And you and your crappy plans that put Eliwood in danger! How cruel! How merciless are you!" Eleanora, provided with a new target, immediately honed in for the kill. And like the men they were, Hector, Guy, and Matthew fled the scene. "How did you become a tactician anyway? You probably paid off someone!"

"…You sound like my father…" The tactician mumbled and started walking off.

"HEY! Don't walk away from me! I mean it! Get back here!" Eleanora chased after Chris, yelling curses, threats, and lots of bad stuff.

Back in the castle, everyone bowed their heads in reverence and respect of the tactician that gave his life so that everyone else could live on. They truly honored his sacrifice.

Hahahaha! If you believed that, then you're a bigger fool that George W. Bush! And that's big, man! Actually, they just broke open another keg of beer and continued to party. That's when Hector remembered that there was another reason for all the costumes. There was going to be a costume contest! He immediately smacked himself on the head with his hand. However, he forgot that he was holding a mug of beer in that hand so he smashed the glass against his head, knocking himself out.

_---_

"And now, let the contest begin!" Hector, now with a huge ice pack on his forehead, slammed a gavel onto the counter he was sitting behind. "The people sitting with me are the judges!" And the judges were Hector, Uther, Oswin, and Wallace. Notice that they're all grumpy, old people. Except for Hector. Hector was just grumpy. Probably from having that glass mug shatter all over his face.

"Now for our first contestant, Nils!"

Nils pranced out. "Hey, you guys suck!" And then he began singing the "Os-tiii-aaaa!" song from earlier. Obviously, this had absolutely _nothing_ to do with his costume. Hector threw the gavel at Nils' head, but the bard dodged and stuck his tongue out at the judges. "Nyah, nyah, can't hit me!"

Hector was about to punch him on the head when Oswin tapped him on the shoulder. "WHAT?"

"You can't hurt little children. Rule number 3 in the 'How to be a Marquess.'"

"Oh…Anything about mauling?" Hector looked thoughtful.

"Mauling…Mauling…" Oswin flipped through the pages. "Nope."

"Good!" Hector started strangling Nils, but the bard squeaked out of Hector's grip and started laughing.

"Get off the stage!" Hector roared and Nils dashed off, giggling madly. Only to be stopped when his sister, Ninian, smacked him on the head and proceeded to give him a big talking to. Hector grumbled angrily. "Now, our next contestant is Marcus!"

"When I was young, I often-

"WRONG! GET OFF!" Hector shouted.

"Hmph, young people have no respect." Marcus walked off, angry.

"Next contestant!" Hector said, now resigned to the fact that it was someone stupid. And in all respects, he was correct. Guess who walked out? Bartre.

"I'm going to see what fire tastes like!" The warrior stuck a lit match in his mouth and swallowed it. Luckily for Bartre, his saliva extinguished the flames. However, it still was very, very hot. "ARGH! IT TASTES LIKE ELECTRICITY! IT TASTES LIKE BURNING!" He rushed off the stage, searching for some place to cool down his burning mouth.

"Sigh…." Hector gave a heartfelt sigh. "Please…Please let someone good come out…" Unfortunately, his prayers were not answered. Cause the next person up was Karel.

"I will kill you so that your strength will not challenge me later!" Karel charged at Hector and began swinging his sword erratically, laughing.

"Son of a bitch!" Hector cursed and vacated his seat before it was sliced in half. "Someone restrain the maniac!"

"On it!" Oswin and Wallace body slammed the berserk swordmaster. Normally, this would have been a good move. However, they were covered in around one-hundred pounds of armor. Obviously, this would make the weight on Karel a _lot_ more than normal. So, when they got off of the swordmaster, they found out he was as flat as a pancake.

Karel, being the homicidal maniac that he was, wasn't exactly dead, so everyone could hear his shouts of outrage and vengeance as Oswin and Wallace carried him off somewhere. And, just saying stuff here, but it's really weird looking when someone as flat as a pancake is swearing at you. Seriously, dudes. I mean, come on. Think of it as ant that learned to talk and now is cussing you out. It's that weird.

"Ooookay…Returning to business here…" Hector looked at his sheet. "This is going to take a long, long time…"

_

* * *

Chris: Yep! The next chapter is the last one! And since I don't think the next chapter is long enough by itself to warrant a "full" chapter, you get an extra at the end of the chapter! Isn't that exciting? Anyway, review please!_

And praise the "Os-tiii-aaaa!" song! NOOOOOW! It took me two ours to coordinate it correctly.


	12. It’s Halloween! Wait, no it isn’t!

Chris: Well, here's the final chapter! Enjoy!

**Sokuma: **No need to worry 'bout the spirit, cause I have enough to finish this. I have to finish it someday.

**Charlie: **Yes, if there are dead people and the Apocalypse comes, then I have finished this fic. But seriously, if there _are_ in the immediate vicinity after I finish this fic, then I'll get majorly creeped out.

**Kiro14: **Good guess….But then I never thought about what I was gonna do with Karel. And yeah…it makes sense to post it on Halloween…But then I said I was going to finish it on Friday. So on Friday, I must finish.

**Lack Thereof: **Hehe, sorry 'bout that. And I would…But like I said, I would finish it on Friday…So yeah, expect the update on Friday. And…I'm probably going to put up the spin-off on Halloween as a sort of tribute. Just to tell you, the spin-off actually has very little to do with FEH. And I'm glad you liked the chapter and thanks for all of the compliments. Means a lot to a small, aspiring writer.

Farina: You have 38 fics and a FictionPress account. Don't BS about being small.

Fine, fine. Ruin my little modesty action. Ass.

**The Karlminion: **Yes, you praised! MWAHAHAHAHA!

**K-Gforever: **Glad you like the song. And you'll find out what happened to them soon enough.

**sam: **Yes, Dragonlance and Warcraft do rock.

**SkyeDunhart: **Well, Eleanora hates to see her young boy do anything foolish. And if you follow that statement to its logical conclusion, you can see that she hates her son. Cause, yanno, he's foolish and stuff. Just kidding. Not. Maybe.

**gothpoet: **Thanks.

**Mewt: **Glad you liked it so much.

**Draknal: **Well, I'm glad I don't disappoint. I try to avoid that as much as possible. Hope you like it all.

Disclaimer: Don't own Jeopardy or Fire Emblem. Or Herbal Essences.

* * *

**Chapter 12: It's Halloween! Wait, no it isn't.**

"Oooooh! My new bishie!" The brown-haired girl began glomping Linus from her little hideout from inside the castle.

"Uh…Hi, brother…" Linus said, thoroughly confused and stunned by this girl's behavior.

"Hey Linus. Got caught by the fangirl too, huh?" Lloyd muttered from his little section on the wall.

"…" Jaffar just stared at Linus, betraying no emotion. Of course, he wanted to escape, but he was waiting for the perfect moment to. Unfortunately, that moment would be a long time in coming.

"Yay! I got my favorite bishies! I'm so happy!" The girl squealed and started glomping Jaffar.

"Uh…" Linus scratched his head. "Ooookay…How about I just leave and…"

"YOU WILL NOT LEAVE!" The girl roared at Linus, growing demon horns. After the hero whimpered and immediately sank to the floor, the girl smiled sweetly and began glomping Jaffar again. "Thank you!" The horns disappeared as well.

"You see why we haven't tried to leave earlier." Lloyd stated.

"Are all fangirls like this?" Linus asked.

"Yes…Unfortunately yes. While not all have demon horns…Some can pull weapons out of thin air, nag you until you die...You know, stuff like that." Lloyd shook his head sadly.

"I pity anyone who has fangirls. I'm just happy I've only been captured by one." Linus muttered, shaking his head.

"Did you hear about Matthew? He has like….five-hundred!" Lloyd said.

Linus' eyes widened. "Five-hundred! Ouch, man! That's harsh! With all that squealing and hugging…I wouldn't be surprised if I found out he was deaf!"

"Yes…Be glad we only have one here. Just…be glad." Lloyd said.

"…" Jaffar was _still_ getting glomped and now there was a vicious tick in his eyes. Unfortunately, any move that he made to escape resulted in the girl growing her demon horns again and pulling out a multitude of weapons that would immediately result in his capture, if not death.

"This is the best day of my life!" The girl shrieked and hugged Linus. And so the three prisoners continued their restless vigil for a means to escape, although their chances were slim. But they could hope, and hope they did.

_---_

"Okay, we have the final eight contestants!" Hector shouted, banging his hand on the counter for emphasis. "Erk as Harry Potter from…Duh, Harry Potter, Matthew as Sly Cooper from…uh…Sly Cooper, Lyn as Xena from….Xena, Warrior Princess, Guy as Samurai Jack from…Samurai Jack, dude, what the hell is up with that!" Hector was practically shouting. "Gawd, finally! A character whose name isn't the same name as the game! Priscilla as Yuna from FFX, Raven as Brother (snort) from FFX as well, Florina as Fairess from Tales of Symphonia, and finally…Rath as Legolas from the Lord of the Rings!"

There was scattered applause until Hector retrieved his gavel and held it threateningly. "Applause louder, dammit! Or else I'm cracking heads!" Suddenly, there was an enormous thunder of applause and Hector smiled, pleased.

"Now for the talent portion! Rath, you're first!" Hector motioned to the tribesman, who nodded and walked out on the stage. He drew his bow and notched five arrows on it. How this could be physically possible, I don't know, but Rath did it anyway. He launched the arrows in the air and one by one, shot them out of the air with more arrows that he drew from a quiver on his back. Taking a bow, Rath was all set to leave when he was attacked.

"Kill the infidel!" Wil and Lowen jumped out from the audience and tackled Rath to the ground. "He will pay for defiling our lovely Rebecca!" They began punching the nomad, who, when he sufficiently recovered from his surprise, was fighting back.

Meanwhile, Rebecca was just moaning, a hand on her face as she watched the three duke it out for her love. Everyone else was placing bets on the contestants. Currently, Rath was the favorite, with Lowen in second, and Wil as third. Hector watched on, extremely amused and making no attempt to stop them.

Rath tossed Wil off of him and brought up an arm to block Lowen's attack. The nomad tripped the cavalier and stared at his fallen attackers. Sounds of, "Not fair!" and "You can throw in this game?" and "Hey, I want to try that!" and "I'm so rich!" echoed inside the castle. Rath gave a bow and walked off stage.

And with that over, Rebecca stomped over to Wil and Lowen and began dragging them by their ears. The green-haired arched tossed the two inside of closet before going back to her place in the stands, muttering evil threats. With the entertainment over, Hector banged his gavel and called out the next contestant, Raven.

"You think I'm gonna do something for you people? You can forget it!" Raven folded his arms, looking grim.

"Lord Brother!" Priscilla whispered fiercely from her position backstage.

"Sigh…Fine…" Raven nodded. "Okay, what you're about to see is a secret technique I've learned. Chances are, you'll never see it again in your entire life." Raven raised his hand, which was clenched in a fist. Slowly rotating his hand so the palm was upwards, he brought his palm so it was facing him. Then, he slowly, slowly, sloooooowly lifted one finger. You could probably guess what finger it was.

Priscilla gasped and put her hands to her face, scandalized. "Lord Brother!"

"Raven, I oughta beta your head in!" Hector shook his gavel at the mercenary.

"Bite me!" Raven stalked off, grumbling angrily about costumes and contests.

"Ahem…Oswin, Wallace?" Hector coughed.

"On it!" The two generals were back on their feet, having just returned from dumping Karel…somewhere. Rushing Raven, they dog piled him again. You can guess the result. And the lesson we all learn from this is that it never pays to insult Hector when Oswin and Wallace are near.

Priscilla, who was going to be up next, was too distraught to actually perform. Cause, you know, her brother acted like an ass in front of everyone. Wouldn't _you_ be distraught?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Oh, you want to disagree, huh? HUH? You wanna mess? I'll show you what the narrator can do!

Wait, what? I'm gonna get fired if I do this again? Oh, then nevermind.

Aaaaanyway…Hector called out the next contestant.

"Florina! Florina!" Hector banged his gavel, until his brother, who was getting annoyed, snatched it out of his hands and snapped it. Hector looked on brokenly at the ruined remains of his gavel. "…Sniff…My…My gavel."

But, strangely enough, Florina didn't come out. Hector thought that she was just nervous and motioned to Matthew to bring her out. But Matthew couldn't find her. And if Matthew couldn't find her, then nobody could. After all, the thief/spy knew Nergal's turban size. You needed to be skilled to know that. And where was she, you might ask? Well, she was taking a walk with Erk outside of the castle. Matthew, being the intelligent thief he was, neglected to search outside. Of course…Since that rabid guard was outside, he might have "forgotten" to search outside just so he could avoid the guard. A smart choice, all in all.

"Fine! Guy, it's your turn!" Hector motioned to the swordmaster, who nodded.

Guy walked out onto the stage and tossed a block of wood in the air. A quick flash in the air and the wood splintered into a figurine that depicted everyone in the Fire Emblem cast. Bowing to the thunderous applause, the swordmaster walked off where he received a kiss from Lyn, completely incapacitating the swordmaster and launching him into a love-induced haze. Which explains why he would walk into a wall.

"Matthew, it's your turn!" Hector yelled.

The spy walked out on the stage and winked to all the girls in the audience. Then, he ran away from his life as the rabid fangirls chased him around the castle among the cries of "KAWAII!" and "OMG HE'S SO CUTE!". Poor, poor spy. It never pays to have hordes of fangirls that could track you down and hunt you to the ends of the earth.

"Hey, let's take his arm! He only needs one, right?"

"I want a kidney!"

"I want a part of his costume!"

"Gulp…I'm outta here!" Matthew used his super spy move and disappeared. Hector shook his head in pity and called out the last contestant, Lyn. She walked out onto the stage with a chorus of catcalls and whistles. Which is no surprise, considering the revealing outfit she was in. And, to make sure no one tried to mess with her, she grabbed a perverted-looking audience member, tossed him into the air, and sliced off all of his clothes except for his undershirt and boxers. Bowing, Lyn left the stage.

"Um…You get off too, unless you're trying to cosplay as a homeless drunk or something." Hector waved the audience member away. "Shoo, shoo."

Muttering in embarrassment, the audience member fled with his life, if not his dignity.

"Okay, folks! You've seen a lot of great acts! Now, vote for who you think is the winner!" Hector slammed his fist on the counter and signaled for the "Jeopardy" music to begin.

Doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doooooo doodoodoodoodoo doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doo doo doo doodoodoo doo doo doo.

Enjoyed that, didn't you? Aaaaaand…Hector tallied the votes.

"And our winner is….Matthew! By a small margin!" Hector yelled out.

"What? I won? How?" Matthew appeared again, his eyes wide.

"Well…Let's just say you had some…outside help." Hector motioned to the mob of fangirls that were stacked outside of Ostia Castle. "They made the deciding votes. Better leave before they come and swarm you."

"Yeah…But what's my prize?"

"Oh, right!" Hector stood up from his place behind the counter. "Matthew! You are the proud winner of 500 coupons of Herbal Essences!"

"Herbal Essences? What the hell? I don't use this stuff!" Matthew looked outraged, holding the coupon book.

"Hey, that's mine!" Eliwood yelled, woken from his drunken stupor by the sight of 500 Herbal Essences coupons.

"You actually use this stuff? Come on, I don't want to make my hair smell like daisies or anything."

"BUT YOU'VE GOT TO FEEL THE CLEAN!" Eliwood said, partially pleading.

"Uh…How about I just feel the clean using my regular shampoo. Hey Priscilla, want 500 Herbal Essences coupons?" Matthew held the coupon book to Priscilla, who squealed happily and took the coupons from Matthew.

"Thank you so much!" Priscilla hugged the thief and Matthew blushed. Of course, there were very many angry muttering from all of the fangirls, who were very, very upset. But they couldn't do anything to their darling Matthew.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door and Nergal and his bunch of evil people entered.

"Eliwood! We have come to kidnap you!" Nergal pointed at the lord, who blinked stupidly. "We demand that you come with us!"

"Oh yeah. That's _muuuuuch_ better. Just barge in through the front door and demand to kidnap him. I can see why you became an evil mastermind." Hector muttered sarcastically.

"No sarcastic comments, thank you very much!" Nergal said. "We have come to destroy you!"

"Oh…Right…Matthew?" Hector looked at the thief, who nodded.

"Hey girls! Nergal wants to hurt me! You know what to do with him!" Matthew called, pointing at the black-clad druid.

"NO ONE HURTS MATTY-CHAN!" The fangirls rushed the Black Fang people and soon they were defeated.

"Grr….We would have gotten away with it too, if not for you meddling kids! And your stupid raccoon!" Nergal roared.

"HEY!" Matthew said, indignant.

As Nergal was carried away by the tide of fangirls, he yelled out an ultimatum. "I'LL BE BACK!"

Suddenly, a lawyer dressed in a nice suit and tie appeared, holding up a piece of paper. "Sorry, that is a copyrighted statement. Expect to hear from my legions of lawyers."

"F-CK!"

"Sorry, that phrase is copyrighted material too."

"Who copyrighted _that_?" Hector asked.

"God."

"Oh…." Hector nodded. "I guess he might want to make sure no one used it."

"Well, then…I WILL RETURN!"

"Nope. Looks like I've got another charge against you." The lawyer scribbled down another name.

"NOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo!" Nergal shouted.

"Copyrighted. Boy, you'll be owing me a lot of money, buddy." The lawyer took Nergal's hand. "Let's go…_criminal_!"

So the evil was carried to jail, where Nergal was detained for hundreds of years, due to the long legal processes of Elibe. A messenger rode up to Hector and handed him a sealed scroll.

"Hmm? What's this?" The lord opened it. "Aw, dammit! I've got jury duty!"

* * *

**Fire Emblem Quickie: Odds are Evil**

* * *

"Master Nergal! You're the most powerful person in the whole continent! What are you going to do?" Ephidel ran up to his master cheerful, a wide smile on his face. "You should use this momentum to conquer the world!" 

"I don't know…" Nergal scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I've considered being evil, but there always seems to be something holding me back." He sighed. "I just can't choose. I'm so powerful, but I can use it for good _or_ for evil!"

"You should become a shining beacon for good, Nergal." Another person stepped out of the shadows. This time, it was Lloyd. "If you become a good guy, then people will revere and worship you!"

"Hey! How'd you find my super secret lair? And how do you know my name?" Nergal shouted, pointing at the swordmaster.

Lloyd shrugged. "Ephidel told me."

"Oh, okay then." Nergal nodded. "So, you say I should be good, huh?"

"Yes." Lloyd said.

"And you want me to be evil." Nergal turned to Ephidel.

"Of course, Master Nergal." Ephidel bowed.

"Okay, Lloyd. Tell me why I should be good." Nergal said.

"First, all the beautiful chicks like a good guy. You notice in stories that it's always the good guys that get the hot girls. Evil people get stuck with ugly people." Lloyd pointed out.

"What about that fortune teller, Hannah?" Nergal noted.

"She's a statistical anomaly. Ignore the fact that she traveled with the good guys in a time far past." Lloyd shrugged. "Now, number two. If you're good, people will give you gifts. And gifts are free stuff. And free stuff is always good."

"You make a very convincing argument. What else do you have to say?" Nergal said.

"Yes. One more thing. Would you like to be remembered as a gracious hero that saved the land from numerous troubles, or a conniving bastard that brought down his own downfall because of the darkness within his heart?"

Nergal nodded thoughtfully. "A good conclusion to a good argument. Now, Ephidel. What is your argument?"

"When you're evil, you're evil. Evil is cool, you know. Good guys are pansies, wimps, or nerds. When you're evil, you're renowned as a cool guy. That's the automatic label you pick up. That is all." Ephidel bowed before glowering at Lloyd out of the corner of his eyes.

"Hmm…I still can't decide." Nergal shook his head. "You two will have to resolve this argument."

"I got it." Ephidel smiled. "Come on, Lloyd. Best out of three. Odds or evens?"

"Evens!"

"Then I'm odds." The morph smiled wickedly. He brought out his fist and Lloyd brought out his.

"One!"

"Two!"

"Three!"

"Shoot!"

Lloyd put out a two and Ephidel shot out a one. The morph laughed and withdrew his hand. "Looks like evil wins one game."

"Nothing but luck." Lloyd sneered.

"One!"

"Two!"

"Three!"

"Shoot!"

Ephidel put out a three and Lloyd put out a one. The swordmaster grinned and ran a hand through his hair. "Looks like evil's out of luck!"

"Bah, I'm not finished yet!" Ephidel retorted.

"One!"

"Two!"

"Three!"

"Shoot!"

The two combatants stared at the outcome. A couple of seconds passed. It lengthened to a minute. Finally, Ephidel let out a cry of triumph and Lloyd moaned in his hands.

"Looks like evil wins!" Nergal looked on. "From this day on, I shall be an evil mastermind!"

And that's how Nergal became a villain and decided to bring dragons in the world. Just because Lloyd sucked at Odds and Evens. Remember kids, if _you_ want to be evil, always go for the odds. Cause Odds are Evil.

* * *

Chris: Well, there it is! The last chapter of FEH and the little quickie I had at the end! I hope you enjoyed this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it! 

Mia: Other than that long gap in the middle.

Chris: Exactly! Well, review please! And spin-off thingie will be out in Halloween, okay? Most likely I'll be writing chapters now and posting them when they're already finished. Or something.


End file.
